Civil Duties
by Scooby Wannabe
Summary: The Ministry passes a new law…which changes everyones lives…for better or worse…till death do they part…based on WIKTT Challenge The Marriage Law
1. London Calling

Title: Civil Duties  
  


Author: flutterby AKA Scooby Wannabe  
  


Disclaimer:  Harry Potter and all of that belongs to Rowling, BtVS, AtS and all that belong to Whedon…I'm just ripping off their ideas to exercise a few demons.

Rating: R, mostly for crude humor (this is a comedy, folks)  
  


Summary: The Ministry passes a new law…which changes everyones lives…for better or worse…till death do they part…based on WIKTT Challenge The Marriage Law

Notes: This is a blatant rip-off of the WIKTT Challenge The Marriage Law.  I really wanted to do it by the challenge (because I've never been able to), but it mutated into this.  At this point, I don't know whether it'll meet the challenge requirements or not (WIKTT=Snape/Hrm) so don't ask just yet.  And no I don't know what the pairings will be right now, though I have a good guess.  I'm completely open to suggestions.

Spoilers: BtVS Season 7, AtS Season 4, and OotP

Timeline:  A few months after Chosen (which I set in March for plot purposes) and a year after OotP

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They had done it.  They had beaten the First Evil.  They had spent months toiling, bleeding, dieing.  They had given all of themselves against the threat of darkness.  They had sacrificed.  They had lost so much.  Yet they had won.

They defeated the First Evil on a warm, windy day in March.  That night a busload of exhausted warriors arrived at the Hyperion Hotel.  Rupert Giles, now Head of the non-existent Watcher's Council, went straight to work.  While the Slayers, who were now many instead of one, and their friends took some much-deserved rest, he started the task of reforming the Council.

Reforming the Council proved more difficult than even Giles had expected.  There were scant few fully trained Watchers who had survived the First's attempted eradication of the Council.  And there was now a greater demand for Watchers, with hundreds, possibly thousands of Slayers now fully Activated and out in the world.  It was a paradox.  Watchers, trained Watchers were in great need.  The Council's funds were still, thankfully, in order, but their vast network of resources had been severely limited.  Trustworthy young minds were in scarce supply all over the world.

The answer was simple.  The Council's resources were few.  But Rupert Giles still had his own special brand of resources.  Resources that most people in the natural world were not allowed to know.  A simple letter.  That was all it took.

It could help his young friends.  That he knew.  They had given up too much already.  Willow was still very drained from her massive spell.  Xander still mourned the loss of Anya.  Faith felt the weight of sins long past.  Dawn felt everyone's burdens and even more of her own.  Buffy carried the weight of Spike.  Yes, they were weary.  A simple letter.  That was all it took to help ease their strife.

He did not want to write that letter.  He had turned his back on that life.  He had left it far behind him.  He hated going back, now, when he knew his return would be highly criticized.  He hated the thought of begging for help on bended knee from people he had abandoned when they had needed him most.  He hated the fact that his infamy had long ago been established and would only be that much more raised.  But it was the only way.  Writing the letter would help the world.  Writing the letter would bring about a new era in the fight against the dark.  But, most importantly, writing the letter would bring peace to those he thought deserved it more than anyone else who had ever been or would be.

It was done.  The letter was written.

"So, what's the what, G-Man?"

Giles turned back towards the five young people gathered in his room at the Hyperion.  They were seated about the room, all leaning back, relaxed.  They watched him, eyes shining with perfect trust.  He allowed himself a small smile.  He felt he had earned that perfect trust.  "I'm heading back for England."

The perfect trust in each one of their eyes vanished, replaced with varying degrees of shock and anger.  Buffy Summers sat up in the recliner she had moments ago been molded to, anger and confusion apparent in her expression.  "But--"

"Let me finish," he interrupted, raising a hand to call for continued silence.  "I am going to head a new Watcher's Council.  Several of my friends and colleagues have agreed to aid me in this.  It is for the best.  The Council will be stronger and better than it was before, I believe.  It is a huge undertaking, one that I feel is my purpose for existing on this earth."

They all started nodded slowly, Willow Rosenberg first, the others taking their cues from her.  Their eyes seemed defeated, their expressions glum.

His smile widened playfully.  "I would like for all of you to come with me."

This caught all their attention.  Dawn Summers actually appeared to have almost swallowed her tongue.  Once she had had the subsequent coughing fit and gotten her breath back, she met Giles gaze wide-eyed.  "To England?"

"I have procured a lovely home in a rather nice part of London," Giles told the group taking a picture from his pocket.  He had to admit, it was a nice place.  Two stories.  Five bedrooms.  Three full baths.  A small private garden in the rear.  Right within a nice walk to Kensington Gardens.  "There's more than enough room for all of you."

Buffy bit her lip, taking the photo from Giles and examining it closely.  After a moment she looked up at him, eyes serious.  "You want us to be a part of the Council?"

"No," Giles replied in a very final tone, even though he was smiling.  "It would actually please me more than anything if you never become involved with the Council.  No, I want you to…take a vacation, as it were.  Live your lives.  Do whatever would make you happiest."

Faith Wilkins sat up, eyes flashing in concern.  "But--"

"I realize that whatever makes you two happy will involve nightly Patrols of the city," Giles interrupted smoothly, directing himself to Faith and Buffy.  "I would be lying if I said London didn't need it.  But I doubt you'll find many serious threats in London."

"What about Cleveland?" Willow asked worriedly.

But then again, Willow had the right to be slightly worried.  Even though their relationship had ended on a fairly bad note, Willow still maintained a strong friendship with Kennedy.  When she left with several other Activated Slayers under the command of Robin Wood to take charge of the volatile Cleveland Hellmouth, Willow had nearly had a panic attack.

Giles nodded to her, prepared for this question.  "They're doing splendidly.  I think they've all now learned how to work best together.  Something which is not easy to do, if you'll recall.  It would only be a step back to interfere now.  Robin has his girls quite under control."

"Angel?" Xander Harris suggested, a reluctant note to his voice.

"Doesn't need us," Giles finished for him.  "Can anyone honestly say they've done anything productive for this team in the few weeks we've been here?"

No one said anything.  They didn't need to.  The only thing they had done to help Angel and his coworkers was babysitting the hotel while they were at their newly acquired law firm, Wolfram and Hart.  "I didn't think so.  No, Angel gives us his blessing and his full support.  He and Wesley have agreed that Angel Investigations and Wolfram and Hart will gladly partner with the Watchers Council in all that we do."

"So…England?" Willow said slowly, as if trying the idea out in her mind.  "Don't we need…passports?"

"Actually, I had thought to change the status of your citizenship."  At this they all sat up straighter.  Giles allowed himself a small chuckle.  They were and always would be Americans to the core.  "Don't worry, you'll still be able to come back and live in America without any trouble at all."

Buffy relaxed, though still looked a bit doubtful.  "Do we need to send in papers?"

"Already done," Giles replied, picking up a small file folder from the bed behind him.  "I just need you to sign these forms, if you're willing."

Xander took the folder from him, opening it and rifling through the forms until he found the one with his name on it.  He scanned the page as he handed the folder off to Dawn, then glanced back up at Giles.  "So, you'll want to leave soon?"

"As soon as possible," the older man confirmed.  "I was hoping before the end of the week."

Faith took the folder from Dawn, taking her own form out before handing it off to Willow.  "You sure you want me with you?"

Giles smiled widely at this.  "More than anything, Faith."

Willow handed Buffy the remaining page and they all sat in silence for several moments.  Giles nerves slowly became more and more aware of the passing time as he watched the young women and man that he'd come to look upon as his own children decide whether or not to follow.

Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, Buffy looked up.  "Anybody got a pen?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow Rosenberg was in love with London.  Seriously.  She was totally and completely in love with the old city.  She loved its old world feel.  She loved the crisp, if not completely clean air that seemed to have an invigorating scent (though Xander said nauseous stench) all its own.  She loved the fun double-decker buses.  She loved the Underground and the variety of life it contained in its secret little world.  She loved Kensington Gardens, its hidden fairyland that made the bustling city around it seem so far away.  She loved the Tower, how without doing anything it could transport her to another world.  She loved the theaters, where the unsurpassable British dramatists performed in the only true real form of acting.  She loved the pubs, where a drink shared with strangers instantly made you family.  She loved everything about it, right down to the wonderful cobblestone streets.  She never wanted to leave.

The others shared Willow's opinion that London was wonderful, even if they weren't as exuberant about it as she was.  Every night, the friends would go out and enjoy a night on the town, having been compensated by the Council (Giles) for all their years of hard work and suffering.  It was a time of healing, and they were loving every moment.

They had been there for over three months, and they were still having the time of their lives.

Giles attempt at rebuilding the Council and been a huge success.  He and several of his colleagues were up to their necks teaching what Giles said was a very promising group of potential Watchers the ins and outs of training their Slayers.  The first group of over forty Watchers were preparing to take on their first Slayers at the end of July, something Giles was immensely proud of.  They came from far and wide, these potential Watchers, all wanting to be a part of what looked to be the turning point in the war against evil.  And Giles was proud.

But the Council was work.  The nightlife was play.  The real wonder of this time was the fact that they could gather together in the evenings and rest, much like they were that warm late July night.

They always spent their evenings in the parlor.  Granted, it was usually fairly late when they'd gather together, but there hadn't been a day gone by that they didn't find the time to spend at least an hour of the night in that old parlor.  Faith and Xander would fight for control of the remote, though they usually agreed on whatever program was picked, then they'd both sprawl out in front of it and submit to the power of the TV.  Dawn always took over Giles' desktop computer, surfing the Net while swiveling in the cushioned desk chair.  Willow would lean back against the sofa, consumed with either a laptop or a good book.  Buffy would dominate the couch, switching her attention from whatever was on the television to whatever Willow had with her.  Giles always sat in his recliner, using the time to catch up on his pleasure reading.  None would worry about the dangerous night that had for years surrounded their lives.

They were at peace.

That particular night, though, was to be their last spent in peace together in that parlor.  The room was silent, the only noises breaking the calm being the click of Dawn's mouse, the sounds of the Matrix, or the rustling of another turned page.  Then came the sound that would change their lives forever.

_Click.  Click.  Click._

Willow looked up sharply at the noise, though she was the only one who did.  Faith and Xander were both too consumed in the epic tale of Neo to notice.  Buffy had dozed off behind her.  Dawn was watching what looked like an animated puppet beat on yet another animated puppet on the computer.  Giles was deeply embroiled in _The Da Vinci Code_ too much care.

She blinked, then shrugged off the experience, attributing it to Dawn's mouse.  She redirected her attention to the Tale of Beren and Luthien and promptly forgot all about it.

Until…

_Click.  Click.  Click._

Willow looked up again.  Once again, her careful scan of the room, showed no object capable of _clicking_ in sight.  She was about to once again surrender to Tolkien when something caught her eye.

There was movement at the window that opened to their small back garden.  Whatever it was, it was fairly large, probably the size of a basketball.  And it was gray.

Willow watched whatever it was move up and down in front of the window.  After a few moments, what looked to be a talon extended from the gray mass and started tapping on the windowpane.  

_Click.  Click.  Click._

 Willow blinked hard.  But, no she wasn't seeing things.  Ever so reluctantly, she loudly cleared her throat.  "Hey, Giles, what is that?"

Everyone in the room jumped.  Faith and Xander turned to scowl at her for interrupting their movie.  Buffy snorted as she woke.  Dawn's chair squeaked as she swiveled around in it.  Giles book was slowly closed, a single finger marking his place.  They all saw Willow's outstretched index finger then slowly turned to look where she was pointing.

Giles instantly rose to his feet, book tumbling to the floor.  "Post?  At this time of the evening?"

They all frowned at Giles, watching carefully as he unlatched the window and leaned outside.

"It's finally happened," Xander said with a dramatic sigh.  He turned to Buffy who was blinking quickly as she watched her Watcher's torso disappear out the window.  "Buffy, you got him knocked unconscious too many times!"

Giles came back inside, closing the window with one hand behind him.  On his other hand was perched on a large gray owl.  Buffy blinked even faster, trying to take in what she was seeing.  "Giles, that's an owl.  Not a wackily dressed person being chased by dogs."

Giles muttered something unintelligible before directing his attention to something that was gasped tightly in the owl's talons.

Dawn scowled from her vantage point across the room.  "Is that a letter?"

Giles ignored her question and proceeded to open the window and release the bird into the night.  As he closed the window, he examined the piece of post more closely, his only words being the lowly muttered, "Ministry?  What the devil do they want?"

Xander rolled his eyes at the Watcher's actions and took it upon himself to answer the younger Summers question.  "Why, yes, Dawn, that is correct!"  He turned to Faith and gestured to her with an elaborate flourish of his arms.  "Vanna, why don't you tell her about the prize that she's won?"

Faith stared at Xander icily for several moments before stating in a very clear tone, "Go away."

Then Giles started swearing.

Really swearing.

The kind of swearing that made Faith blush.

He gestured emphatically to Willow.  "Willow!  Floo powder!"

"Flu?" Buffy repeated, looking down at her hands.

Willow shook her head as she handed Giles a large velvet bag from the table beside the couch.  "No, the magic fire powder.  He uses it to talk with Wesley.  I've seen him do it before.  It's neat."

Giles dipped his hand into the bag and came up with a handful of silvery dust.  None too carefully he threw it in the general direction of the fireplace.  The room was enveloped in a silver cloud as most of the powder in Giles' hand ended up not making it to the fireplace.  Giles, though, took no notice and stepped towards the fireplace.  "Arthur Weasley!"

Willow watched with anticipation.  She had seen Giles do this only once before.  It had been rather comical watch Wesley's head bob around amidst the rolling flames of their fire, but she had to admit, it was a practical way of speaking to those far away.  She also was a bit anxious at Giles' very Ripper-esque tone.  Whoever this Arthur Weasley was, she did not want to be him.

It didn't take long for the head to appear.  She smiled to herself as Buffy, Faith, Dawn, and Xander each began to look extremely confused.  They were taking it much better than she had at least.  She had screamed when she first saw Wesley's head in their fire.

The man whose head was currently being kissed by hot-looking flames was a complete stranger to Willow.  She figured he must have been a Council member, though Giles scarcely allowed work to come home with him.  This man, though, had a very kind look about him.  He appeared to be Giles' age.  His hair seemed to be red, the little he had of it, though whether or not that was caused by the fire, she had no clue.  He also had a long, thin face and a large nose.  Upon his nose set a pair of glasses which hid a pair of warm, happy blue eyes.  He glanced around the room quickly, searching for something.  "Yes?"

Giles, though, was not calmed by the appearance of this man.  In fact, he seemed to become even angrier.  He stepped closer to the fire, looking almost feral.  "Arthur, you unbelievable little bastard!"

The man blinked, turning to Giles in shock.  "Rupert?"

Willow almost felt sorry for him.  His seemed quite hurt by Giles' tone, though she knew that he must have done something horribly wrong to bring out this side in Giles.  Giles himself ignored the hurt in the man's eyes and became even wilder.  "I've trusted your people with the well-being of my charges and this is the payment required?  Petitions of Union?"

Arthur's expression immediately turned to one of understanding.  He nodded seriously at Giles.  "Step back, I'll be right there."

Giles sighed, visibly relaxing quite a bit.  He took several long strides away from the fire.  A moment later it blazed a brilliant green and the head, now attached to a tall, thin body, came strolling into their parlor.

This caused Willow's eyebrows to go right up into her hair.  She had seen heads, but she had never seen people walk through fire like that.  Apparently neither had the others, because they looked just as shocked as she felt.  It didn't help matters that the man was wearing what seemed to be a full red robe instead of jeans and a shirt.

 "It's Santa Claus," Xander muttered, bemused.  "Only younger…and thinner…and with red hair…"

The man went straight to Giles, who shook his letter angrily before the stranger.  "Arthur, I demand an explanation!"

"Rupert, please," Arthur replied, unfazed by Giles ranting.  He just held his hand out calmly.  "May I please see that?"

Giles handed the paper over then started to pace slightly as Arthur examined it.  "What kind of barbarism is your Ministry endorsing these days?"

"It's your Ministry as well, Rupert," Arthur murmured in a pointed tone as his eyes swept over the piece of what appeared to be parchment instead of paper.  "And you know well the value of tradition."

"Fuck tradition," Giles replied simply.

Buffy's eyes went wide.  "Giles!"

Giles waved a hand dismissively, not taking his eyes from their guest.  "Not now, Buffy."

Arthur finished his examination of the letter after a few moments.  He turned his attention back towards Giles, looking very old and tired.  "This law was only put into effect just this night.  I never imagined the impact it might have…"

Giles snatched the letter back from the redhead, scowling at him harshly.  "No, Arthur, imagining would imply that you used you head!"

The man shook his head, bewildered.  "I…I never thought…"

"Well, why didn't you?" Giles asked, no longer angry, just old sounding.  "You should have at least remembered that in your world, these children are just as famous as Harry blasted Potter!  Of course they would be highly sought!"

"Sought?" Willow repeated, confused from the conversation that obviously involved her in some fashion.  "Sought for what?"

Giles looked up.  Over the course of his furious reaction to whatever it was the letter said, the Scoobies had all gotten to their feet and retreated to the other side of the room together.  When he looked at them, it was if he were seeing them there for the first time.  "Oh, dear lord…"

"Uh oh," Dawn muttered, her expression becoming fairly nervous.  "He's gone ODL on us."

Arthur frowned.  "ODL?"

"Oh, dear lord," Xander, Buffy, Faith, and Willow clarified in unison.

Giles, however, continued to look upon them with sorrow.  "I've done something to all of you…something horrible."

"Horrible?" Xander repeated uneasily.

"Allow me to introduce myself," the redheaded man said, gesturing to himself as he gave them a kind look.  "I am Arthur Weasley, an old friend of Rupert's."

Willow nodded, then pointed to herself.  "I'm--"

Arthur cut her off with a wave.  "I know exactly who all of you are, Miss Rosenberg."

"Okay, Mr. Fire," Buffy said calmly.  "What are you?"

Arthur smiled proudly.  "I am a wizard."

"Wizard?" Xander repeated, sitting down on the floor in his accustomed spot near the TV.  He thought this over, then shrugged.  "Neat.  Not to be rude, but I think Giles was saying something about horrible."

Giles sighed, retreating to his chair and collapsing onto it.  "The world we live in today, the natural world…everything is full of tape anymore.  You all know that international travel is difficult enough after all this terrorist business but…with Buffy's record…"

"Giles, so you had to pull some strings to get us this neat setup," Buffy said softly as she made her way back to her seat on the couch.  "So what?"

Giles covered his face with his hands, but not so much that they couldn't hear his next statement.  "I had you all registered as magical beings with the British Ministry of Magic."

Willow raised an eyebrow as she sat down next to Buffy.  They were all familiar with the concept of the underground society of wand-magicians, as Tara had termed them.  Giles had explained it to them briefly long ago before opening the Magic Box.  They knew no details simply because they couldn't technically be told at the time.  Something to do with some code of secrecy.  But they knew that theses wand-users basically existed a part of the everyday world.  And that if they suspected a customer of being a wand-user, they were to be referred to Anya or Giles immediately.  "Magic?"

Giles sighed again, letting his hands fall back to his sides.  "Well, technically, you five are magical.  Willow and Xander were born on a Hellmouth, which always produces magically inclined children.  Though, those children tend to have unpredictable powers that lean more towards the dark than the light."

Even though she was sure they didn't mean anything by it, everyone in the room, Arthur Weasley included, glanced at Willow.  She flushed red.  "Um…no comment…"

Giles smiled slightly at her.  "It is just a tendency, Willow.  Some people are predisposed to alcoholism and drug abuse.  It does not mean that they will in fact _become_ alcoholics and drug abusers."

Arthur nodded as he pulled the computer desk chair up between the sofa and Giles' recliner.  "Well, and Miss Wilkins and both Miss Summers, I'd hazard you could guess where your magical talent comes from."

Buffy scowled at Giles.  "You never taught me magic."

"It's not encouraged," he replied easily.  "Until I became Head of the Council, the Watchers weren't exactly inclined to work with witches and wizards."

Arthur smiled warmly at them.  "The Aurors, that is, the magic please-men--"

"Policemen, Arthur," Giles corrected in an exasperated tone.

"Yes," Arthur continued as if he had not been interrupted.  "Well, there has always been a bit of a rivalry between the Watchers and Aurors."

Dawn raised her eyebrows as she sat down on the sofa on Buffy's opposite side, the side furthest from Arthur.  "Wow, you have your own police?"

The strange man nodded.  "We have everything, our own stores, schools, hospitals, government…we're fully self-sufficient."

"Interesting," Faith stated simply as she sat back down on the floor next to Xander.  She glanced at Giles.  "And you never told us about this because?"

"I, well, I disowned my magical heritage," Giles answered, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.  "I severed most ties I had before I joined the Council."

Buffy frowned.  "I thought your dad told you it was your destiny to be a Watcher and forced you to be one."

"Old Erasmus," Arthur chuckled, slapping the closer of Giles' arms.  "Absolute pillock."

"He was a Watcher, Buffy," Giles confirmed.  "He just hid the fact that he was a wizard from the Council and did not let it be known among wizards that he was a Watcher.  Same as my grandmother."

"Rupert ran away after graduation," Arthur clarified with a grin.  "Said if he would live as a Muggle before he allowed Erasmus to dictate his life."

"I did the most horrid thing I could to get back at my father," Giles continued, his own sly grin slowly forming.  "I applied to Oxford."

Arthur laughed loudly at this.  "But that didn't last long, did it…_Ripper_?"

Giles nodded, his grin fading.  "After the incident with…Eyghon, I returned to my father…just in time to be there as he died.  His only wish was that I become a Watcher.  I honored that request."

"What about your whole fighter pilot/grocer thing?" Buffy asked.

Giles chuckled.  "Remind me to explain the game of Quidditch to you some day."

"Okay, so, yay magic," Xander replied impatiently, his hands witching slightly.  "Why are you going ODL?"

"I had you registered as Muggle-born, which is what you truly are," Giles replied, then frowned suddenly.  "Except maybe Dawn.  But I still registered her as a Muggle-heritage witch."

Dawn furrowed her brow, raising her hand slightly as if she were in a classroom.  "Did that make sense to anyone?"

"The wizarding world is…well, racist, to be blunt," Giles explained.  "But instead of being prejudiced over the color of skin, for example, the prejudice lies on ones ancestry."

"There are two main modes of ancestry for a witch or wizard," Arthur continued for him.  "A magically inclined individual is either of Pureblood and Muggle descent."

Willow rolled her eyes.  "Clarify, please."

"A Pureblood is someone who is born of an old magical family, one of pure ancestry with no Muggle, that is, non-magic or what you would call normal taint," Arthur replied.  "A Muggle-born is someone with non-magical parentage."

Giles snorted in disgust.  "The argument is purity."

"And supremacy," Arthur added.

"The prejudice is deeply ingrained," Giles went on.  "Most Purebloods have had the philosophy past down to them."

"Ah," Faith said with a smile indicating her understanding.  "Evil learned."

"Precisely," Arthur said, pleased that they all seemed to be following the rather sudden discussion.  "The prejudice even extends to those termed mixed-heritage, even though they are by far the largest 'class' amongst our kind."

"It's a ridiculous argument," Giles fumed.  "Both Muggle-borns and Purebloods have the same power necessary to wield magic.  The argument is simply unfounded!"

"So being magical but not having magical parents makes us Muggle-born," Buffy surmised slowly.  "If we're Muggle-born, then what are you guys?"

Giles smiled again.  "The Family of Giles is a very proud Pureblood family, one that subscribed to this ridiculous supremacist theory down to my father's generation.  I was taught that I was better than a lowly Muggle-born, though I know otherwise.  The name of Giles will end with the passing of myself.  And I say good riddance."

"I'm also from a Pureblood family, though ours has not historically held to the belief," Arthur replied proudly.  "It seems my ancestors kept finding their matches within the Pureblood community."

Giles nodded his agreement.  "The Weasleys are held as blood traitors within the extremist families."

"A title I bear with pride!" Arthur exclaimed with glee.

"How big of a problem is this prejudice?" Willow asked.

"Well, that's the question," Arthur said, his amusement from a moment before gone instantly.  "Now, officially, there is no prejudice against Muggle-borns and mixed-heritage witches and wizards."

"Isn't politically correct," Giles muttered.  "But the Shadow of the prejudice is there, even in some of the laws."

Arthur nodded.  "Now, this isn't the official reason as it were, but we are currently fighting something of a war because of this prejudice."

"War?" Xander repeated.

"Terrorists," Giles clarified.  "Dealers in the Dark Arts."

"It's all terribly complicated," Arthur said with a sigh.  "It first began many years ago.  There was a thirteen year peace, but I'm afraid that for the past two years, we've very much been at a state of war again."

Faith shook her head.  "I've not heard of any new war unless you guys are in Iraq."

"No, you wouldn't have known about this," Giles dismissed quickly.  "The only reason I know is because of concerned friends and family."

Arthur bit his lip and hesitated a moment before continuing.  "Because of the uncertainty of the last few years, among other things--"

Giles snorted.  "Mostly because Cornelius Fudge is the most idiotic man in the entire history of this earth."

Arthur paused to think this over, then shrugged before continuing.  "There have been a few…laws pushed through the Ministry these last two years, as it were."

Willow did not like the sound of this.  "Laws?"

Giles nodded sadly.  "Not many of them would be what you call…fair."

Arthur sighed again.  "The most infamous of these laws would be Civil Union Decree."

Buffy blinked.  "I don't even understand it, but it sounds bad."

"You all live as Muggles," Arthur began, "so I expect you will be able to grasp the…what is it called, Rupert?"

"Science," Giles said as if speaking to a young child.

"There were few Pureblood families to begin with.  And to maintain blood purity, the families could only marry and breed within themselves.  After just a few short generations, a startling trend emerged."

"Inbreeding," Willow stated.

Dawn grimaced.  "Eww."

Xander nodded knowingly.  "Not just for Hobbits and the people of West Virginia."

"You all realize what the effects of generation after generation of inbreeding are, do you not?" Arthur asked curiously.

"Mutant kids," Faith replied with a shrug.

Willow nodded.  "Sometimes deformed or mentally handicapped children."

"And magically handicapped," Arthur added.  "More and more children are being born within Pureblood families with no magical ability whatsoever.  They're generally known as Squibs."

"Can't inbreeding cause sterility as well?" Buffy asked, face screwed up in thought.

"Indeed," Arthur replied, looking immensely relieved.  "As you can imagine, more and more people are becoming extremely concerned with this unfortunate fact of life."

"And the Ministry of Magic, in all their bungling stupidity, have decided to force a solution," Giles said venomously, holding out the letter he'd received to Willow.

She looked from Giles to the letter, then back to Giles.  "What?"

"Read it," he said simply.

She took it, then cleared her throat.  "'Ministry Decree Number 8.563.427'.

"'Acknowledging the fact that increased intermarriage between the Pureblood families has caused serious detrimental affects to the genetic structure of the recent generations of Pureblood witches and wizards, with severe results such as a noticeable decline of the birth rate of magical children and the increased production of Squibs, the marriage of all Pureblood, mixed-heritage, and Muggle-heritage witches and wizards, whole or in part, will from this date, July 31, 2003, be directly controlled by the Department of Civil Unions at the Ministry of Magic'."

"Regulation of marriages," Dawn simplified.  "What does that have to do with us?"

"The Department of Civil Unions is calling for, well, unions to be swift," Arthur replied hesitantly.  "It's almost as if Muggle-borns and mixed-bloods are being put up on auction.  The gist is, with your classifications and popularity…"

Willow looked up, finally getting what Arthur and Giles had been trying to delicately explain.  Her eyes went wide as she clutched the parchment tightly.  "We have to get married?!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N:  Okay, it might not look like it now, but I totally plan on making this a comedy.  Sorry if parts of this chapter don't make sense, but in my defense I wrote it at one o'clock in the morning.  Plus, I have no beta.  Oh, well.  It will get funnier.  I just took this chapter to set the stage.  And no, that isn't the entire law…that'll come next chapter…with Harry, Ron, and Hermione…

Please Review and let me know what pairings you guys want!


	2. The Worst Birthday Gift

"We have to get married," Ron Weasley said passively as he flipped through the evening edition of the Daily Prophet.

Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, froze, the bite of birthday cake hanging in the air in front of him.  "Married?"

Hermione Granger frowned, looking around her surroundings for some clue as to why Ron would make this announcement.  The Leaky Cauldron was bustling, even in the late evening hours.  It had been Ron's idea, taking Harry out for dinner, cake, and ice cream, noting that he had never had much of a birthday party before.  So there they were, in a corner of the extremely busy Leaky Cauldron, staring at Ron as if his head had just come off.

Ron sighed, tossing the paper to Harry.  "Go on, then, read it for yourself."

Harry dropped his fork and caught the paper, looking down at the front Page.  'MINISTRY PASSES NEW LAW; CREATES NEW DEPARTMENT' the headline screamed.  This law, it seemed, was listed in detail in a sidebar of the front page.  "'Civil Union Decree 137.1'.

"'All unmarried Pureblood and mixed-heritage witches and wizards from seventeen to fifty years of age must enter by law into a state of matrimonial union with mixed-heritage and Muggle-heritage witches and wizards from seventeen to fifty years of age on or before their fifty-first birthday'."

As soon as Harry finished, Hermione immediately began to giggle.  "That's a laugh.  All that does is outlaw Pureblood marriages."

Ron shook his head, pointing back to the paper.  "Keep going, Harry."

"'Civil Union Decree 137.2'," Harry continued.

"'All unmarried Pureblood witches and wizards must serve an accepted petition for union on or before their fifty-first birthday to one Muggle-heritage or mixed-heritage witch or wizard.  The Head of the Family may reserve the right to serve petitions for union for any or all unmarried members of their household.  All unmarried mixed-heritage witches and wizards must either accept a petition of union from a Pureblood or mixed-heritage witch or wizard as per Civil Union Decree 137.3 or serve an accepted petition of union to one Muggle-heritage or mixed-heritage witch or wizard on or before their fifty-first birthday.  All unmarried Muggle-heritage witches and wizards must accept a petition of union as per Civil Union Decree 137.3 on or before their fifty-first birthday'."

"See?" Ron said, looking as if he had been victimized in some way.

Harry just frowned at the paper.  "That's fairly confusing."

"It basically means that Purebloods have to pick a Muggle-born or mixed witch or wizard to marry, mixed-bloods get to pick or be picked, and Muggle-borns just get to be picked," Hermione explained as she started picking at her pumpkin ice cream.  Then she froze, as if just hearing what she said.  She frowned slightly, looking like a hurt little girl.  "That's not fair…"

"Not like it much matters," Harry replied with a shrug letting the paper fall to the table.  "It gives us over thirty years, and I had planned on having a family one day."

Hermione scowled at the young man, arms crossing as she regarded the pair of teens angrily.  "How can you just sit there and take this so calmly?"

"Ish no' dat big o' deal, 'Erm-oo-nee," Ron replied with a shrug through a mouthful of cake.  He gulped down his food, then continued.  "Arranged marriages are more than common in the wizarding world."

Hermione's outrage only grew.  "And that makes this okay?"

Ron nodded.  Hermione immediately turned to her other best friend for support.  Harry shrugged, turning his attention back to his cake.  The girl could only sputter indignantly.  "But…but…but…"

"Don't worry so much about it," Harry insisted gently.  "Find a guy, then have him serve papers."

Hermione frowned at Harry's word choice, as did Harry himself.  He sighed.  "Wow, didn't that sound all sad and wrong."

Ron coughed as an idea hit him, then glanced at Harry slyly.  "Bet the famous will be served papers left and right, Harry."

Hermione giggled as Harry snorted.  "I'll just set up an instant reply system.  'Sorry, but no'."

"Ah, if it isn't the famous Golden Trio," an all too familiar voice sneered from behind them.

Harry rolled his eyes, not even turning to face his archenemy.  "Sod off, Malfoy."

Hermione, though, just couldn't contain herself.  She turned to face the scowling Draco Malfoy, grinning widely from ear to ear.  "Say, Malfoy, how does it feel to have your pick of wife narrowed down to only the Mudbloods?"

Both Ron and Harry instant scooted around in their seats to see Malfoy's reaction.  He curled his lip at Hermione, then turned to Harry.  "I wonder who will be the lucky winner of your services, Potter.  My mother is a single woman now.  And I could use my own personal whipping boy."

Harry made an overly disgusted face.  "Malfoy, I doubt any sane person would take that cow on willingly."

Ron and Hermione both gulped, obviously expecting an all out fistfight from Malfoy at this taunt.  But he did something far worse.  He just smiled, the peaceful kind of smile that one smiles when the world is made right.  "Interesting choice of words.  Especially since the Ministry has taken your will for you.  Or didn't you read Civil Union Decree 137.3?"

Harry frowned, instantly knowing that this was not good.  He turned back to the table and grabbed up the copy of the Prophet.  His eyes went to the end of the article.  He grimaced as he saw the foreboding words.  'Continued on Page 3'.  He tore through the paper, searching out what he desperately did not want to.  "Here.  'Civil Union Decree 137.3'."

Hermione and Ron took a deep breath, neither one liking the smug look on Malfoy's face.  Harry read.  "All witches and wizards served with a petition of union will enter into their time of courtship from the date of the first petition filed for their union.  One (1) week from the date of file of the first petition of union, the petitioned witch or wizard must enter into a state of matrimonial union with the petitioner.  If within the week, the petitioned witch or wizard receives more than one (1) petition of union, the witch or wizard will have his or her choice of mate from among the available suitors."

Harry dropped the paper in absolute horror.  Ron's mouth dropped open.  Hermione's face slowly drained of all color.  "Oh, my god…"

Malfoy laughed at this, smirking in triumph.  "I might be required to marry a Mudblood, Potter…but it will be my choice as to when and who."

None of the trio could think of a retort as Malfoy slowly walked away, still laughing.  They were all staring at one another.  Then, Hermione's face took on a look of terrible realization.  "Harry…you're seventeen today."

As if on cue, an owl appeared.  It was a black owl, cold and menacing looking.  It swooped by, dropping a roll of parchment on Harry's nearly eaten slice of birthday cake.  After a moment of hesitation, Harry took the parchment.  He slowly unrolled it, Hermione and Ron watching anxiously.

Harry's eyes swept over the letter.  His face immediately fell.  He stared at the parchment unblinkingly.  Hermione glanced at Ron who shrugged.  She bit her lip, watching as her friend slowly started to shiver.

She sighed, then tugged the parchment from Harry's vice-like grip, effectively ripping the corners of it.  She read aloud, "In accordance with Civil Union Decree 137, I hereby petition for the matrimonial union of Harry James Potter and…Pansy Pearl Parkinson?!"

Ron's mouth dropped open.  "Her middle name's Pearl?"

"One week," Harry murmured lowly.  "I have to get married in one week."

Hermione looked from the parchment to her crushed friend.  "Oh…Harry…"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N:  Wow, people actually like this.  Okay, well, there were a lot of questions in the reviews.  It might be pertinent for most of the readers to glance over these.

1.  For people that don't speak lawyer, here's my laymen's term of the laws.  The one in the first chapter was a Ministry decree (a big-effects-everything government law) gave the power to the Department of Civil Unions to make laws to control marriages.  Then the laws here are the actual laws that affect everyone.  

A.  Decree 137.1 outlaws Pureblood-Pureblood marriages and makes to where Purebloods and mixed-bloods (i.e. half-bloods, people with at Muggle-born ancestor like Harry, people with at least one Muggle ancestor like Voldemort, etc.) have to get married before they turn fifty-one (seventeen is the age that wizards and witches are recognized as adults so that was the minimum age…yes, I realize age of consent is sixteen, but…eww).

B.  Decree 137.2 defines who has the right to petition (propose to who).  Hermione explains that one best.  Purebloods can pick who they marry (either mixed-bloods or Muggle-borns), mixed-bloods can either be pick who they marry (another mixed-blood or Muggle-born but not a Pureblood) or be picked (by a Pureblood or fellow mixed-blood).  Muggle-borns can only be picked (effectively outlawing Muggle-borns from marrying Muggle-borns).  This law also makes it illegal for anyone who is a witch or wizard to marry a Muggle.  

C.  Decree 137.3 just says if you get picked, tough, you have to accept it.  The Ministry is nice enough to give them a week to find someone better, but by the end of the week, anyone who is petitioned has to be married.

D.  PLEASE NOTE:  This only applies to marriages after July 31.  If someone is already married, but their marriage violates this law (i.e. Seamus Finnigan's parents, Arthur and Molly Weasley) their marriage is still legal.  It's the new ones this applies to.

2.  Everyone's been asking about ages, so I've included this rather long note.  This is set approximately one year after the end of the OotP.  This mean Harry and Co are about to enter Seventh Year.  I worked up a reference list.  Use the list to figure everyone else's ages.  Most of these are canonical, but for my own purposes, I've assigned some of them birthdays.

A.  Harry Potterà17

B.  Ron Weasleyà17 (Big pet peeve here.  Most people I've met assume that because Harry turns 17 in July before the year begins, all the kids are that age for that corresponding year, such as 11 for 1st Year.  I hate that.  One of my best friends hates it more than I.  She has a July birthday as well and is in the same year as I am, but I'm about eight months older.  My best friend is two months older than I am, but he's a Year ahead in school.  Kids typically graduate public school when they're 18.  Most of Harry's classmates turn 18 during the school year.  Ron will turn eighteen on March 1st.  Harry and Hermione were born in that nice limbo between one school year and the next, therefore having the choice of what year they start.  Harry chooses the earlier year, and, well, I've never met a person born in July that stayed back.  Know one that stayed back in June.  Know several that stayed back in August.  Know two that went on ahead from August.  Know several that went both ways in September.  Hermione, who was born on September 19th, started school early.  Big surprise, lol.  Wow, look at that.  I went on a rant.  Sorry, didn't mean to.  I just get so friggin' aggravated when people can't think that really easy information through.)

C.  Hermione Grangerà16 (Turns 17 September 19th)

D.  Katie Bellà17 (Turns 18 over the course of the school year…I know I was really shocked when I read in OotP that she was a year younger than Alicia, Angelina, George, and Fred…I always imagined the Gryffindor Chasers as something of a trio.  Go figure.)

E.  Fred & George Weasleyà18 (Turn 19 in April.  This 18/19 age applies to people like Alicia Spinnet and Angelina Johnson.)

F.  Percy Weasleyà20 (Turns 21 in October, a date that was assigned by me.  This 20/21 age applies to people like Oliver Wood.)

G.  Ginny Weasleyà16 going on 17

H.  Severus Snapeà37 (This applies to Remus Lupin as well…would've applied to Sirius, but alas…)

I.  Arthur WeasleyàGod only knows how old this guy is canonically…my math suggests anywhere between 50 and 65 (remember, wizards live a hell of a lot longer), unless he and Molly jumped the gun a little with Bill.  For purposes of this fic, Arthur Weasley will be 54 years old.

J.  Molly WeasleyàSame God only knows thing as above.  But, while we know Molly and Arthur were at school together, we have no idea if they were in the same year (I think, please correct me if I'm wrong).  For purposes of this fic, Molly Weasley will be 49 years old.

K.  Nymphadora TonksàAge uncertain.  Could be as young as only six years older than Harry, which, for purposes of this fic, she will be.  Makes her 23.

L.  Buffy Summersà22 (Applies to Xander/Willow/Faith in my fic, though I think Faith is technically a few years younger.)

M.  Dawn Summersà17 (Dawn's age has always baffled me.  Sometimes she's this age, sometimes she's another.  It's confusing for me.  So for the purposes of all my BtVS related fics, I've assigned her a birthday early in the summer.  July 13, for those that wanna know.  A friend of mine's birthday.  I also assume she decided to stay back and not start school early, making her the age for that school year/season when it starts.  That means she'd actually be the equivalent of a Sixth Year in Muggle schools AKA a Junior in High School but is still older than Harry.  Yes, this is extremely possible.)

N.  Rupert GilesàAnother one whose age is uncertain (Anthony Stewart Head will be 50 in February).  For purposes of this fic, he is 48 years old.

3.  Um…lemme see…Giles got the Gang legally registered as witches and wizard for travel purposes.  Even though the war had started, it was the easiest solution for him.  We'll find that it wouldn't have been hard for Voldemort to have known about them, since we'll learn in the next chapter exactly how well-known the Scoobs are in the wizarding world.

4.  Giles' past _will_ be a major issue.

5.  Though I say it's a comedy, I tend to like me comedy subtler than a clown.

6.  I don't know who the pairings are gonna be.  YOU GUYS NEED TO MAKE SUGGESTIONS!!!


	3. Proposals and Funny Names

Title: Civil Duties

Author: flutterby AKA Scooby Wannabe

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all of that belongs to Rowling, BtVS, AtS and all that belong to Whedon…I'm just ripping off their ideas to exercise a few demons.

Rating: R, mostly for crude humor (this is a comedy, folks)

Summary: The Ministry passes a new law…which changes everyones lives…for better or worse…till death do they part…based on WIKTT Challenge The Marriage Law

Notes: This is a blatant rip-off of the WIKTT Challenge The Marriage Law. I really wanted to do it by the challenge (because I've never been able to), but it mutated into this. At this point, I don't know whether it'll meet the challenge requirements or not (WIKTTSnape/Hrm) so don't ask just yet. And no I don't know what the pairings will be right now, though I have a good guess. I'm completely open to suggestions.

Spoilers: BtVS Season 7, AtS Season 4, and OotP

Timeline: A few months after Chosen (which I set in March for plot purposes) and a year after OotP

A/N: This chapter is really, really bad. Like confusing, and without enough detail. My apologies, but real life is starting to press in on me. Ick.

Responses to a few questions:

I'll kill two birds with one stone here: **Harry is a half-blood!** This is canon, guys. Harry Potter is not a Pureblood because his mother was a Muggle-born witch. If you don't believe me, just read _Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_…the entire book. As far as this law is concerned, a witch or wizard of mixed heritage is defined as one that has a Muggle in their ancestry…Harry's maternal grandparents were _both_ Muggles. **Neville Longbottom is a Pureblood!** I don't know where anyone would get the idea to the contrary. Both of these CANON facts are attested to with this quote from Dumbledore: "And notice this, Harry. He chose not the Pureblood (reference to Neville Longbottom)…but the half-blood…"

As Harry is a half-blood, yes, he does have to be married in a week (August 7, timeline-ish). He can petition for another witch and marry her before the date, but he still has to get married. There is no loophole in that part of the law. Trust me.

As for the law, there is still more of it coming. You think after getting Pansy's petition that Harry noticed the rest of the fine print? …I'm evil :) Also, someone pointed out that the problem was babies…yeah, I know that. Wait until Chapter Six (I think…maybe…), and we'll see that Harry missed a good deal while skimming over the law. There are four more subsections…teehee…

The law can be enforced. It will be enforced. I'm still getting around to that kind of thing. I think that'll be partly addressed in this chapter and mostly addressed in Chapter Five.

Sorry, guys, but no Sirius. This fic takes into account Order of the Phoenix. For a Sirius-fix, check out my other BtVS/HP crossover, _Alive_…it also takes OotP into account…but as some people say, I love to twist canon…lol…not really!

Also, no slash. I just can't bring myself to do it…ever. But I won't ignore it either. Willow's swings are dealt with in the fic in several different places. And…to whoever suggested Snape/Xander…first of all, eww! Next…where in canon does it even suggest that they might even like switching teams?

To whoever (it was anonymous) gave me a more-specific timeframe of Dawn's age, thank you! It will really help out with future works. As far as this story is concerned, though, Dawn's age will have to remain the same.

Now that that's taken care of, we've got some decisions to make, and quickly. In two chapters I'll announce the pairings. Thanks to everyone who made such wonderful suggestions! Possibilities I've never even thought of popped up one after the other. For those that haven't gotten in their two cents worth (or those that just want to reassert their opinion), the suggested pairings I'm not totally against are at the bottom of the page.

Now, after a page of notes, ON WITH THE FIC!!!

Everyone stared at Willow. She stared at Giles. Ever so slowly, all eyes turned to Giles, waiting for the answer to Willow's outraged question. Giles sighed, then started to nod.

No one said anything. No one had to. They were very soon going to be sold into slavery…into marriages they did not want.

Because of the complete silence in the room, everyone heard the _clicking_ when it began again. Slowly, they turned to the window. It was another owl. Giles reluctantly rose to his feet to open the window. Then he froze.

The owl outside had been joined by two others. No, four. Now there were seven owls.

Arthur frowned, watching as slowly the number of owls outside the window grew. Then it began. _Clicking _at the two other windows.

As the group stared outside in horror, the _clicking _became much more insistent. Until it quickly became like a pounding.

"Don't let them in!" Willow whispered loudly. "If you don't let them in, we don't have to deal with it!"

Giles sighed. "I'm afraid, Willow, that we very much have to deal with it."

Willow frowned, then turned to Arthur. "Do you think you could explain to the Ministry of Magic that I'm a lesbian?!"

"I doubt it would do any good," Arthur replied, eyes still glued to the ungodly number of owls outside. "Besides, it is well documented in public record that Willow Anne Rosenberg is bi-sexual and has no determined preference."

Willow blinked. Hard. Then she scowled. "Wow, you know me better than I know myself. Come, let me see these records so I learn exactly how I am supposed to be."

"Public record?" Dawn repeated, standing and backing away from the windows.

Arthur nodded, somewhat flustered. "You're like celebrities in our world."

This caught Faith's attention. "Celebrities?"

"Oh, yes," Arthur said, clearly becoming excited. "Your efforts against evil are required by the Ministry to be covered thoroughly in Defense Against the Dark Arts. One of my sons did a thorough report on your victory against DerKinderstodfor his Seventh Year Defense Against the Dark Arts Project."

Xander's mouth dropped open. "The Death-Boogie-Man Guy?"

Buffy turned to Giles, completely confused. "You didn't tell us we were famous."

"Because you're a little too famous for my tastes," Giles said with a grimace. "Xander's fan club had actually been known to send me threats on Anya."

Xander froze. Ever so slowly, he turned to stare at Giles. After several moments of staring at the Watcher, he stuttered out, "I h-h-have a f…fan club?"

Arthur chuckled. "You're something of a teen idol for most witches."

"Not just for teens," Giles murmured darkly.

"Okay," Xander said, looking like he was having severe problems wrapping his mind around this fact. "Teen idol like 'you're funny Jack Black', or 'marry me Justin Timberlake'."

"Xander," Giles replied carefully. "If Justin were only so lucky to have the following you have."

Xander's gaze snapped to the floor. "Ohmygod."

"Okay," Willow huffed, still standing tall in defiance. "How about this? They can't make me."

Giles sighed. "They can."

"No, they can't," Dawn said hopefully. "Take us of that register thingy."

"I can't," Giles replied quietly. "What's done is done."

Faith hooked her hands around her neck, stretching away the frustration. "Cleveland is starting to sound pretty good."

"Cleveland?" Buffy repeated with a raised brow. "Hell, I'm going to LA. The farther away, the better."

Arthur shook his head slowly, putting a supportive hand on Buffy's shoulder. "It won't help."

Buffy frowned. "Why?"

"The wizarding government supercedes the Muggle, so you can't seek refuge in Muggle America," Giles explained. "Filing for citizenship within magical America would take time. Even if the process were hurried through, it'd take at least a month. You only have a week."

"Well, what if I tell them no?" Faith snapped.

Arthur sighed. "Then they'll put you in Azkaban."

Dawn raised her hands in confusion. "Ass-what?"

"Wizarding prison," Giles clarified. "You don't want to go there."

Willow narrowed her eyes. "Better than some forced marriage!"

At that moment, one of the windows broke.

Owls started to pour into the room. They were everywhere, wings flapping. It was utter chaos. Willow screamed and ducked down to the floor. "Shit!"

"Giles!" Buffy ducked behind her Watcher, hands raised high to protect her head.

Xander grabbed a broom from where it was stored with the other supplies in the corner closet. He raised it up and started waving it about the room. "Shoo!"

Unfortunately, Xander's aim was a little off. He ended up missing the owl he had aimed for and smacked Dawn in the nose. "Xander, that hurt!"

"Attack of the killer birds!" Faith shouted, swatting at the space around her with her hands.

Willow, who was still on the floor, was just staring at the small but growing pile of rolls of parchment in front of her. "Are we really this famous?"

"Why do I have one?!" Faith shouted, holding up a roll of parchment, one of the several rolls at her feet. "Don't these people know my past?!"

Buffy was literally drowning in scrolls. "Help!"

"ENOUGH!"

Everyone froze. Giles just held up a hand as, ever so slowly, the owls started to filter out of the room. Every last one of the Scoobies, except for Giles, had a small pile of rolls of parchment at their feet. At least a dozen each, maybe two in Buffy's case. Giles sighed.

"Now," Arthur started giving Giles a look of disapproval before turning to the younger Scoobies. "You have seven days and what appears to be several proposals to consider. I suggest you choose wisely."

Everyone looked somber. Dawn appeared to be nauseous. Eventually, Xander clicked his tongue, then nodded one stiff nod. He bent over and grabbed up the top roll of parchment from his pile. He unrolled it, frowning at the parchment. "Hmm. Well. 'In accordance with Civil Union' blah, blah, blah…interesting name…hey, look, it includes stuff about them!"

Willow frowned, shifting uncomfortably. After an uncomfortable moment of silence, she muttered, "What's she like?"

"Pretty…blonde…rich, that's a plus," Xander said, sounding as if he were nonchalantly describing a new toaster. "She says I'll never have to work, that I can do what I want…something about her cooking…"

"Who is it?" Giles asked, wondering if he might know her in passing.

"Uh," Xander muttered, eyes going back to the top of the parchment. "Narcissa Black. Weird name."

The parchment was gone from Xander's hands as soon as the last word was out of his mouth. Xander looked over at Giles in shock as the Watcher's eyes swept over the parchment. "Oh, dear lord…"

Giles dropped the parchment and turned to Buffy. "Buffy, may I?"

Buffy swept her right arm in a welcoming gesture. "Go right ahead."

Giles grabbed up a handful of the many rolls of parchment and started to unroll them. "Walden Macnair…Geoffrey Goyle…"

Arthur was pale. Very pale. He touched his hand to Faith's arm, eyes looking on her in questioning. "Miss Wilkins, if I may?"

Faith shrugged and held out her own rolls, which, while still less than Buffy's, were considerable in number. "Go for it, Mr. Stick."

Arthur took the rolls from her hands and started to read through them. "Thomas Nott…Victor Crabbe…Vincent Crabbe…father and son seem to be competing…"

Xander, catching on that something was happening, unroled a few more and read them aloud. "Millicent Bullstrode…Elanor Flint…"

Giles picked up a few of Willow's. "Theodore Nott…Leon Jugson…"

Buffy took Dawn's opened rolls from her and flipped through the pieces of parchment. "Marcus Flint…Adrian Pucey…Draco Malfoy…"

Arthur sighed, his expression grim. He looked straight at Giles. "I must get you to Albus."

Giles nodded, then turned to the younger people standing in confusion around him. "Get your coats."

Buffy frowned. "What's an al bus?"

Suggested Pairings (that I really like):

Ron/Hermione

Snape/Hermione

Hermione/Twin

Draco/Hermione

Harry/Hermione

Buffy/Oliver

Buffy/Snape

Buffy/Remus

Buffy/Harry

Dawn/Draco

Dawn/Ron

Dawn/Harry

Dawn/Neville

Faith/Neville

Faith/Bill

Faith/Charlie

Faith/Sirius

Faith/Draco

Willow/Snape

Willow/Remus

Willow/Lucius

Willow/Twin

Willow/Percy

Willow/Draco

Xander/Ginny

Xander/Tonks

Xander/Luna


	4. The Strange Strangers

Harry Potter was in hell. Not the nice, fun kind of hell where he was shishkabobbed and laid over a nice fiery lake for all of eternity. The really disturbing kind of hell like in that Muggle movie with the cross dressing Peter Pan where he's in this dead lifeless shell that'll never be happy again. It was a bit like a dementor really. Except he knew in his heart that he'd _really _never be happy again. So it was really hell. And the members of the Order of the Phoenix were his tormentors.

Harry sat in the comfy leather chair in the middle of the drawing room at Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. He didn't move. He didn't say a word. He just watched.

Dumbledore sat at the desk in front of him, looking far older and more lost than Harry had ever seen him. He seemed more stressed than he had been after Sirius' death. He was surrounded by papers, all letters from various Ministry offices or field operatives alerting him or complaining to him about this new law. Some were probably even advice. But Harry knew. As much weight as Dumbledore carried, there wasn't much he was likely able to do with this one. Fudge had it in for Dumbledore, blamed him for everything, from Voldemort to Fudge's, albeit failed, impeachment. Harry was sure that this new law had as much to do with getting back at Dumbledore in some way as it did with the lack of wizard population.

Tonks was standing in the corner, her face greener than it should have been, which Harry could sympathize with. Of course, Tonks was a half-blood just like Harry and was just as affected by this law as he was. Except for the fact that she hadn't received any proposals, so she had time to work out a solution or to maybe even wait it out until the Ministry operatives found some way to get the law repealed. Though Harry understood her fear. Whatever time she had, it was borrowed. Either some wizard would eventually decide to petition for her, either just for her or as an inlet to the Black line…or the clock would slowly tick down on her.

Hermione was hovering about Tonks, reassuring her that it wasn't that bad, which was interesting, since Hermione's situation was arguably worse than Tonks'. Hermione was less than two months shy of her seventeenth birthday. Harry knew the moment it hit, his friend, because she was _his_ friend, would be doomed. Of course, Ron had feelings for her, feelings she shared. It was obvious to everyone but the pair that they would eventually marry. Even if it was forced out of saving Hermione from a cruel fate, Harry assumed that the redhead would petition for her himself.

Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, and Remus Lupin were embroiled in what appeared to be a very hot debate. Harry didn't understand why. McGonagall and Snape were purebloods. Remus was a half-blood, yes, but he was a werewolf. No decree would ever be passed in the Ministry to force him to procreate, no matter how devastated the population was. And McGonagall was well over the cutoff age. Then it hit Harry. Snape was Remus' age. He didn't meet the cutoff. He had to marry. Harry's hell was briefly lifted as he imagined Snape married, probably to some old annoying witch that dominated him at every turned. He really hoped Snape got a mean one.

Kingsley Shacklebolt was looking more and more annoyed with Fred and George Weasley as the minutes passed. Of course, all the Weasley's had faces as red as their hair. Boys were boys, though every Weasley save Ginny was over the age of seventeen or, in Ron's case, at it. No young bachelor ever liked the idea of marriage as an institution. When the right girl came along and made it appealing, yes, that was different. But marriage itself…it was a very threatening concept. So, Ron, Bill, and Charlie were all debating something Harry couldn't hear. Their faces were red, which suggested either anger or intense embarrassment, but they were doing so relatively calmly. The twins were in a shouting match with Shacklebolt in the middle. Harry knew what that was about. Their master plan with Alicia and Angelina was now ruined. They could no longer wait six years while the twins' shop took off or while the girls' got promoted off the Harpies' reserve team. The girls were both Muggle-born and would have to be petitioned for immediately to keep them off the market.

And poor Ginny. She was being dragged from one side of the room to the other over and over again as a very irate Molly Weasley marched about the room clutching her daughter's hand to her bosom, making sure her opinion was heard.

Molly Weasley suddenly stopped and pointed sharply at Dumbledore. " Albus, the Ministry has gone too far this time!"

"My life is over!" Tonks suddenly wailed loudly.

Hermione huffed indignantly, expression very cross. "You haven't even been petitioned for yet. And at least you have the right to choose."

"It's an absolute outrage!" Snape shouted loudly. "A violation of all civil rights!"

Harry closed his eyes, using both hands to rub at his temples, trying very hard to drown everyone out.

"You okay, mate?"

Harry looked up to see Ron standing over him, gazing down in concern.

Harry sighed, wincing slightly. "I have a headache."

"We've received over a hundred and fifty requests for Potter today alone!" McGonagall stated in her commanding voice.

Mrs. Weasley nodded vehemently. "Hardly any of which I would call acceptable!"

Harry grimaced as Mrs. Weasley smacked her hand down sharply on the desk in front of Dumbledore. This did some good, however, since it seemed to snap him out of his reverie.

Dumbledore stood, which brought the chaotic room to silence. Everyone, from Snape to Ginny, looked up at the old wizard, expecting him to have some wonderful idea. But the tired look on his usually jovial face quickly dismissed that hope.

Everyone just looked at each other for several moments, all silent, all upset and confused.

Then Bill cleared his throat, drawing all attention to him. "Why don't we just kill two birds with one stone? Harry still has the right to petition on his own behalf. Have him petition for Hermione."

At this, Ron's red face turned crimson.

Harry looked at Hermione. She looked back at him. Everyone could tell from their expressions that Bill's suggestion was a last resort alternative.

"Use your head, Weasley," Snape growled with a sneer. "Granger won't be of age for another two months. Quite a bit past our deadline of one week."

"The Time Turner," Mrs. Weasley suggested. "That would have added to her magical age."

To Harry's immense relief, Dumbledore shook his head. "The Time Turner would have extended Miss Granger's age but a few weeks. A month or so, at most. No, Miss Granger has no hope of being petitioned by young Harry. I do not wish to call Ministry attention to her magical age in hopes of buying her a few weeks more of freedom."

"Potter and Granger are not the only ones affected by this law," Snape interjected in a very rough voice. "We must remember Emmeline Vance, Hestia Jones, Sturgis Podmore, Tonks, Kingsley, Lupin, _myself_, and all the other unmarried Order members. No member of the Order can be married to someone outside the circle."

McGonagall's voice was strained when she replied, "Besides Remus, Emmeline, and Tonks, all the other members of the Order are Purebloods and can't be forced into a marriage against their will."

"And Emmeline's fiancé already petitioned for their union," Dumbledore remarked, pointing to a random letter on the desk before him. "We cleared him long ago."

"And I'm a werewolf and will be exempt," Lupin continued. "And whoever wanted Tonks would be"

"Don't finish that," Tonks cut Lupin off with a glare.

Dumbledore nodded as if this solved all of Snape's points. "Our main concern now is how best to deal with Harry."

Molly Weasley sighed and looked down at the sixteen-year-old girl she had trapped in what appeared to be a vice-like grip if the color of Ginny's hand were any indication. "If only Ginny were a few months older…"

Ginny's face turned as red as her hand. "Mum!"

Harry had had enough.

"Hey!" Harry shouted, rising to his feet. He felt everything, all the emotions in him, start to come undone. "Hello! Wizard who has to get married in seven days standing right here!"

Mrs. Weasley looked at the young man with tears in her eyes. "Oh, Harry, dear, I'm sorry."

"Yes, I apologize, Harry," Dumbledore replied as he took his seat. "How do you think we should handle the situation?"

Harry hesitated, at a loss. "Well…I don't know…"

"We must wed Potter to a member of the Order," Snape restated.

"Hestia?" Kingsley suggested.

"I'd rather not," McGonagall replied in distaste. "Hestia is a bit of a loose canon."

Mrs. Weasley's face was grim. "I suppose in the end, it must be Harry's choice."

"It could be Tonks," Charlie Weasley said with a nod in the young Auror's direction.

Harry couldn't even bring himself to look at the woman. "Marry Tonks?"

Dumbledore looked thoughtful. "Minerva is also single."

Harry felt himself go cold. Beside him, Ron started making gagging sounds.

"_Ron_!" Hermione scolded from somewhere off in the distance.

"Miss Granger, I assure you, I agree with Mr. Weasley," his Head of House replied in a dry tone.

"We could try to find someone trustworthy outside the Order," Remus suggested. "Perhaps another Gryffindor?"

"Can't we challenge the law's legality?" Bill asked, pulling a dusty book of what looked to be old wizarding legal codes off the top shelf of one of the glass-fronted cabinets. With it he pulled out several Doxies that had been overlooked in the cleaning two summers before.

While the room erupted into activity as most everyone focused on the Doxies, who managed to bite at Bill's hands and Remus' ear before they were subdued, Dumbledore sat at the desk, staring at it as if the answer to their much more difficult problem was etched somewhere deep in the old rotting wood. Harry, too, ignored the Doxies, instead watching Dumbledore, hoping against hope that the old Headmaster would be able to save him from this dreaded fate.

The room settled back down after the Doxies were subdued and Snape grudgingly handed over two vials filled with the antidote for Doxy venom to both Bill and Remus. Harry almost smiled at the fact that Snape had a supply on him, remembering the summer two years ago when he had needed to take the antidote at least a few times daily.

"Albus?"

Everyone looked up at the fireplace where Mr. Weasley's head was currently bobbing. Dumbledore and Mrs. Weasley were noticeably relieved, having been unable to contact him at the Ministry earlier when they had called the meeting.

Dumbledore nodded to the wizard his greetings. "Arthur."

Mr. Weasley looked arguably more troubled than Harry felt. "Albus, I…oh, hello, what's all this?"

Mr. Weasley looked around the room, taking in the rather odd group gathered in the drawing room. Dumbledore replied, "I'm afraid young Harry has been served with a number of petitions."

"Ah," Mr. Weasley said, taking in stride what Harry thought was dreadful news. He looked at Harry and gave him a sympathetic look. "Well, so sorry about that, Harry."

Harry shrugged miserably. "It's not your fault, Mr. Weasley."

"Arthur, get back here!" Mrs. Weasley ordered her husband, a bit testy after the stress of the day's events. "We have to deal with"

"I'm afraid we have another slight situation," Mr. Weasley cut in, glancing at something behind him. "One just as urgent."

Dumbledore seemed to be surprised by this statement, something Harry had rarely seen. Harry himself was even more surprised. He couldn't see what could be more urgent, but after having lived nearly seven years in the wizarding world, he knew he didn't want to know. Dumbledore took several moments to look Mr. Weasley's expression over carefully before asking, "What situation might that be, Arthur?"

Then, from somewhere to Mr. Weasley's left, a girl yelled, "A bunch of evil wizards want to marry us!"

"Get back, Buffy!" a very irritated sounding man shouted. "You'll catch fire!

Harry looked at Ron and mouthed 'Buffy?'. Ron shrugged, just as baffled as Harry. Dumbledore's reaction, though, was instantaneous. He stood and stepped to the fire. "Bring them through immediately, Arthur."

Mr. Weasley nodded stiffly. "Yes, Albus."

The color of the fire switched to green, that tell-tale sign that someone was about to use it for the Floo. Everyone in the room was silent, all watching the fireplace intently. The fire roared to life and Harry felt his heart beat faster in anticipation.

He had seen many people come through the Floo, some for their very first time. He had seen a good deal of people end up on the floor. He himself had done such. But never in his entire life had he seen anyone come through the Floo as if they were tumbling downhill. The person shot out of the fireplace, continued to fly through the air across the room, dropped what looked like a large Muggle suitcase which flew off into Snape, knocking him to the floor, and crashed into the wall opposite the tapestry. Then the person ricocheted right back onto the floor, the giant tapestry of the House of Black crashing down on top of him or her.

The room filled with dust. There was a great deal of shouting. There was even more coughing. But when the dust settled, a very dirty and grimy girl poked her head out from underneath the tapestry.

She looked around at the room from her place on the floor. Everyone stared back at her. Then, very carefully, she pushed the tapestry off of her and stood, more than a bit unsteady. She shook her head, trying to get her bearings. "Whoa. Head rush."

Then she noticed everyone staring at her. She was quite young, around Harry, Ron, and Hermione's age. She was tall and thin, almost a little too thin. She was dressed in Muggle clothes, a pair of form fitting jeans and what looked to have been at some point a tight t-shirt that read "The Ramones". Her hair was covered with soot and dust, but it was clear that it was usually a shiny brown. Her eyes were bright blue and wide as she quickly looked all of them over. Then she smiled brightly and waved her hand in greeting. Then, in a heavily American accent, said, "Hey, bunch of people I don't know."

Hermione found her voice first. "Who are you?"

"Who are you?"

Everyone turned back towards the fireplace and watched as a redheaded young woman gracefully stepped out of the fireplace, a large carpetbag clasped firmly in her right hand. She looked around a little until she sat eyes on the girl. She then proceeded to cross the room to give her a once over. Though the redhead was much less filthy than the girl, it was the girl that said, "You're all dirty."

The redhead gave the girl a pointed look before she started to pat the dust and soot off the girl. "So are you."

The fire blazed to life again and the girl looked quickly to the woman. "Who's next?"

"Xan," was the woman's one word reply. Without another second spared, they stepped apart, just in time to miss being knocked over by the flying form of yet another stranger. This one landed more gracefully than the girl, managing to keep control of his duffel bag.

"Whoa!" He stood as soon as he landed, looking around at the confused Order members. He shook his head sharply, causing the soot from his hair to fall and wiped at the patch covering his left eye. He nodded at everyone. "Hey, any of you Narcissa Black? No? How about Millicent Bulstrode? Eleanor Flint?"

The girl, taking his cue from the man, tapped Ron on the shoulder. "You. Are you Ad-ree-in Poo-see? Or, um, Drakk-ko Mail-foy-ya?"

All Ron could do was shake his head.

The girl frowned, then turned to address everyone in the room. "Any of you?"

No one said a word. There were some nervous glances. Harry even shot a few of his own at Remus and Bill. He also noticed that Snape was still on the floor and appeared to be unconscious.

The clucked her tongue, then snapped her fingers, looking let down. "Rats."

"Disappointed, Dawn?" the man asked in amusement.

The girl, Dawn, apparently, shrugged. "Well, they at least look normal."

Then the fire blazed again and another woman fell to the floor, this one wearing leather. She rose up on her knees, coughing and brushing herself off. "I would have so gone back to jail to avoid that."

Then she jumped up to her feet and sauntered across the room to join the group of strangers, appraising the room with a bit of an attitude. "This them?"

The redheaded woman shook her head. "Not any of ours."

The leather-clad woman turned and crossed her arms as if looking at children. "I'm looking for a Macnair and Goyle. Anyone?"

"AHHH!"

Before anyone could blink, another body had slammed into the group of strangers, knocking them all to the floor. The members of the Order jumped, shocked. Even Snape jumped up, not unconscious after all, but just fuming on the floor.

The strangers went down like dominoes.

"Ow!"

"That effin' hurt, B!"

"Get off of me!"

"Wills, ow!"

A small blonde woman winced as she clambered off the others, then turned to help them to their feet. They all looked a bit miffed at her. The man said, "Geez, Buff, it's not that bad."

She made a face as she pulled him up. "Giles put me in a fire."

The redhead scowled as she hunched over, hand on her back. "He put us in a fire, too."

"He's not your Watcher!" the blonde snapped, causing Hermione to look up at them with interest.

"Might as well be," the girl muttered as the blonde started to look her over more carefully than she had the others. "He watches us close enough."

Suddenly Ron gasped, a finger raising to point rudely at the blonde. "You're Buffy Summers!"

If everyone hadn't had their attention riveted on the group before, they did at that point. Even Snape's red face suddenly disappeared as he watched the blonde with interest. Everyone knew that name. Every child was raised on those stories in the wizarding world. Even Harry had heard that name, late at night in the Gryffindor dormitory when they lied awake telling stories to one another to try and scare each other. Every witch and wizard knew of Buffy, the vampire Slayer.

The blonde, though, wasn't even fazed. "And you're way too skinny."

Hermione stepped towards the group, awe shining on her face. "You are, aren't you?"

Harry gaped for a second before turning to look at Dumbledore. He was just standing in the corner, eyes twinkling in amusement.

Harry whirled back around to watch the Slayer. She was regarding Hermione a little doubtfully. She quirked an eyebrow and asked, "And?"

Hermione stared at her for a few moments longer before producing a piece of parchment and a quill from her pocket. "Can I have your autograph?"

Remus, too, was staring at the blonde in amazement. Then his gaze ticked to the others who were standing behind Miss Summers and appeared to be more than a bit uncomfortable. "If she's the Slayer, who are the rest of you?"

The girl rolled her eyes, muttering, "The Fan Club."

"Yo, she's not _the _Slayer," the leather-wearing woman said, a little miffed. "She's _a_ slayer."

Bill's mouth opened wide in shock. "Faith Wilkins!"

The woman stiffened, regarding Bill defensively. "Who wants to know?"

"Wow…" Fred breathed. "Slayers…here…"

"Xander, would you kindly assist me?"

Most everyone turned to see an older man lugging three rather large suitcases out of the fireplace with him. Harry was about to move to help the man himself when he heard Ginny shriek behind him.

He turned to see Ginny, Hermione, and Tonks standing around the younger man, each giddy with excitement. Ginny was petting his arm. "_Alexander Harris_!"

The man looked completely lost. "Uh huh…"

"Oh, could I have your autograph, too?" Hermione asked, watching the man with large doe eyes.

Ginny squeezed under his arm, smiling brightly. "Here, Mum, take a photo."

Tonks was blushing, watching the man shyly. "You're a lot cuter than your picture."

Mr. Harris looked completely ashen. "Giles?"

The older man, having finally wrestled the three monstrous pieces of luggage out of the fireplace, turned nodding in satisfaction. "Ah, see? I told you you're famous."

This time, it was Fred Weasley's turn to shout in excitement. "Ripper!"

This did it for the Weasley family. Bill hooted loudly, Ginny jumped lit up in excitement, and Ron and George tackled the older man in large bear hugs. The man just laughed, hugging all three boys back. "Ginny, boys, how are you? Good lord, you've all grown a foot at least!"

Harry was so confused, he had completely forgotten about his headache. Apparently, the redheaded woman shared his confusion, though she was a bit more vocal about it. "What the fuck?"

Fred, who had been standing patiently waiting for his brothers to release the older man, turned to find the redhead behind him. He frowned. "If he's Alexander Harris and she's Buffy Summers…you must be…"

The redhead held out her hand. "Willow Rosenberg."

Fred stared at the hand for a moment, then looked the woman in the eye. "Marry me?"

Miss Rosenberg frowned, taking a piece of parchment from her pocket. "Um, I think I'm supposed to marry Theodore Nott. But thanks."

"Nott?" Kingsley Shacklebolt repeated with concern.

Mrs. Weasley gasped. "Oh, my!"

Harry now understood the problem. "You were asking for Death Eaters."

"Death what?" Dawn asked, wrinkling her nose in distaste. "That is so gross sounding!"

Snape stepped foreword, shoving the suitcase that had hit him at the girl, knocking her back several feet, and faced off with the Slayer. "You fall under the Ministry?"

"Yeah," Miss Summers said, ignoring Snape's scowl, which only served to infuriate him further. "That would be Giles' fault. Or Mr. Stick."

"Rupert, it's been a long time," Mrs. Weasley said as she pushed her sons aside to embrace the older man herself.

He hugged her tightly, then backed up to get a look at her. "Ah, Molly, my dear."

"Mother has been a bit testy lately," Mrs. Weasley said in her infamous commanding tone of voice. "You should visit her more often."

"Mother?" Mr. Harris repeated, confused.

"Xander, everyone, this is Molara Giles Weasley," the man said as an introduction an. "My sister."

Harry raised his eyebrows, unaware that Mrs. Weasley had a brother, let alone that her brother was Rupert Giles, the famous Watcher of Buffy Summers. Though it shouldn't have surprised him, seeing that Ron had told him all about his adventurous Uncle Ripper who lived in America. He had just assumed that he had been speaking of one of his father's brothers. At least it explained why Ron was hovering around the older man.

Though Ron seemed a bit confused himself. He gaped at his uncle, before turning to his mother. "_The_ Rupert Giles is Uncle Ripper!"

Harry almost laughed. Ron had never put together that his Uncle Rupert Giles who lived in America seeking adventure and excitement wasn't the Rupert Giles that had lived in America battling evil as the Slayer's Watcher. Though it seemed he wasn't the only one.

George started coughing, having choked at this news. Fred was just in shock, turning to his uncle and asking, "That's not just a strange coincidence?"

Ginny just shrugged. "Shoulda known."

Bill, though, was the one that was most shocked. "Why do I never know anything?"

About that time, Mr. Weasley came through, also with a large piece of baggage in his left hand. In his right hand was clasped several slips of paper.

"Good to see you once more, Rupert," Dumbledore said, breaking up the wild flurry of confusion and hero-worship. "May I see the petitions?"

Mr. Giles nodded and Mr. Weasley handed the papers over to Dumbledore immediately.

"Not that many," Harry commented, proud in some sick twisted way that his ever-growing pile of marriage petitions was much larger than the stack that Dumbledore was perusing through.

Miss Wilkins shrugged as she flopped into Ron's vacated seat. "Yeah, well, Mr. Stick said it's early yet. Plus, our names are kinda buried on the list. Something about not expecting us."

Harry frowned. "Mr. Stick?"

"Him," Miss Summers said, pointing to Mr. Weasley. She glanced back at Ron as she perched herself on the corner of the desk. "Though I think he should be the new Mr. Stick."

"No, this guy's definitely got the stickiness covered," Dawn said as she came to stand in front of Harry. "Though he could be Mr. Short Stick."

Harry stood, more than a bit offended by the girl's rude remarks. "I'm not short."

Dawn looked down at him, having a good three inches on him. "I'm taller than you."

Dumbledore glanced up from the stack of parchment. "How many of Harry's petitions were sent by people we suspect to be associated with Voldemort?"

Kingsley opened his mouth to reply, but was cut short as Miss Summers exclaimed, "Oh, those things are so cute!"

Kingsley looked over at her, stunned. "What?"

"You know," Miss Summers said expectantly. "Voldemorts. I love them. Which guy do I marry to get my own one of those?"

Miss Rosenberg gave the room a strange smile, then turned to the blonde. "Buffy?"

Miss Summers looked up at the redhead. "Hmm?"

"_Volkswagen _is the company that makes the cute cars," Miss Rosenberg said gently.

"_Voldemort_ is the name of a Dark Wizard who heads his own terrorist faction," Mr. Giles said as he looked over Dumbledore's shoulder at the petitions he was still perusing, both being unfazed by the odd conversation.

"Oh," Miss Summers murmured with a frown. Then she shrugged. "Well, I definitely don't want a Voldemort then."

"Uh, right," Kingsley said, looking a little unsure. "Um, Potter received eighteen petitions from ladies we expect to be associated with the Death Eaters."

Dawn wrinkled her nose again. "That sounds so wrong."

"Thank you, Kingsley," Dumbledore said with a nod.

Dawn smirked at Harry. "Ha, Mr. Short Stick, I got more evil proposals than you."

Harry scowled darkly. "Give it time."

Mr. Giles stepped around to face Dumbledore. "Albus, I cannot protect them from this."

"Well," Dumbledore said as he tossed the stack of parchment into the fire. "It seems to me that Voldemort might have hoped you would not know any better than to accept one of these proposals."

Mr. Weasley snorted. "The suitors' descriptions do seem to be a bit…trumped up."

"Well, you certainly cannot accept any of those proposals," Mrs. Weasley said with a little humph.

Dumbledore nodded with a gleam in his eye. "Quite right."

"Voldemort, with the Sunnydale Slayer and her legendary supporters at his beck and call?" Snape growled lowly. "He would be undefeatable."

"We're legendary?" Dawn repeated, a little impressed. She side stepped Harry and stole his seat. "How cool!"

Harry, finally aggravated by this mindless girl's antics, turned to glower at her. "Who the hell are you?"

"Dawn Summers," she answered with a smile. "Who the hell are you?"

Harry gave the girl a doubtful look. "Harry Potter."

"What kind of name is Harry?" Dawn asked. "It sounds kinda gross."

Harry rolled his eyes. "And Dawn isn't a strange name?"

"I happen to like my name," Dawn stated matter-of-factly. "So, _Harry_, why are the evil meanies after you?"

Harry raised an eyebrow. "You don't know who I am?"

She gave him a saccharin smile. "Should I?"

Harry could hardly believe it. "Boy Who Lived?"

"Ah," she said with a nod. "How is that special? Pretty sure I'm alive." She raised her fingers to her neck and felt for her pause. She waited for a moment, then dropped her hand and nodded, satisfied. "Yep, I'm alive."

"They live as Muggles," Mr. Giles explained to the baffled Harry. "We only use wizard magics to travel."

Harry nodded his understanding. "Ah."

"Tuh!" Dawn said as she took a pen from her back pocket and held it before her. Slowly it started to rise off her palm. "See? I can do other magic. Willow is teaching me."

Harry stared at her in shock. "You don't have a wand."

"And?" Dawn asked with a shrug. "You just have to concentrate. Here, you try."

"Dawn, this isn't a slumber party," Miss Summers chastised.

The girl just shrugged. "Just trying to be friendly."

"Well, the law obviously applies," Dumbledore said, having ignored this conversation as well. "You must find suitable replacement spouses. They are classified as Muggle-born, so it will be quite a task. They must be petitioned by someone, they cannot petition themselves."

Miss Wilkins frowned. "So we really are expected to get married in a week?"

"Six days, now, actually," Dumbledore clarified.

Miss Summers frowned, then turned to Mrs. Weasley. "Do you have any ice cream?"


	5. Food for Thought

Xander eyed the glob of green on the spoon in front of him. He was wary, of course. Not too many things that were green ended up a positive. But still, everyone else was digging in. He might as well. So, very cautiously, he opened his mouth and let the spoon enter.

His senses exploded. The green colored ice cream was cool and delicious and filling his mouth in a way he had rarely known before. And, oddly enough, it seemed to be strawberry-raspberry swirl despite the avocado shade. "Mm," he hummed with a smile as the ice cream slid easily down to his stomach. "A tasty dairy treat."

Across from him, Dawn beamed. "This is pretty awesome ice cream."

Everyone else seated at the long wooden table seemed pleased as well. Well, as pleased as they could be. Their present situation aside, Xander had to admit, they were probably in the creepiest kitchen he had ever seen in his entire life.

It was like a cave. A large, smoke-filled cave that was badly lit. Hadn't these people ever heard of electricity? A fire was cool and all, but Xander wasn't really caring about the coolness factor as much as he expected Hannibal Lector to appear behind him. Or maybe a tavern wench. Either way, he was totally creeped out.

The pudgy redheaded woman scuttled around the kitchen like an expert. Giles's sister. Xander was still having a hard time wrapping his mind around that one. Oh, he had known that Giles had to have had a family tucked away in England somewhere. But he always assumed that the Watcher's immediate family was pretty much gone. Now he found that not only did Giles have a sister and, by default, a brother-in-law, but he also apparently had five nephews and a niece. At least. Xander couldn't help but wonder if there might be more. And they all had red hair. Bright red hair. Willow hair. Giles was kinda bordering that not-blond-not-brown-not-gray land. If Xander looked hard enough, he could see some fading red highlights. But nothing like these people.

But there was a certain resemblance. It was in the face more than anything. Especially of the twins. And the guy with the earring. That one totally looked like that very disturbing picture of Giles he had found back in high school when that whole Eye-Be-Gone thing happened. The eyes, the nose, the chin. Very much like his uncle.

Xander looked at the other strange people around the table. Besides the army of redheads, there was the scary looking grandpa. Dumb-bell-door. Weird name. And the Loopy guy. He was nice. Funny. Gave Xander a lot of weird looks whenever he cracked a joke. Like he reminded the guy of someone. And the girl with the scary-big hair. Her personality was definitely a clone of Willow. Well, a calmer more British clone of Willow. Though she seemed to lack the Willow spark.

Most everyone else had excused themselves for the night. Except for that other guy at the far end of the table. Snapple. He was just glaring at Dawn. Wasn't like it was her fault that he couldn't catch large hurling pieces of luggage properly. Another that didn't seem to like Dawn very much was the Harry kid. He sat between one of the million redheads and monster hair, casting her dark looks as she wolfed down her ice cream.

Dawn didn't seem to much care.

Buffy, who was sitting to her sister's right, looked up at Giles's sister. "What flavor is this?"

"Your favorite," Mrs. Weasley replied as she slid a bowl over to Giles.

"My favorite is cookie dough fudge mint chip," Buffy said as she slowly examined the green ice cream in front of her. "And this doesn't look like cookie dough fudge mint chip. Tastes like it, but can't be."

The boy sitting beside Harry, who Mrs. Weasley had introduced as her son, Ron, looked up, bits of green smeared around his mouth. "Actually if cookie whatever is your favorite, then that's what you have."

Giles swallowed a small bite of his own ice cream before explaining, "It's charmed to become the favorite flavor of the person eating it."

"Oh," Buffy said, accepting the explanation with ease.

Willow raised her eyebrow, looking a bit impressed. "That's nifty."

Dawn nodded as she licked her spoon. Then she relaxed a bit and looked down at Harry. "So, why are you famous?"

"I'm the only person to have ever survived the Killing Curse," Harry replied dead toned as if he had done so a bunch of times before. "It rebounded off me because I was shielded by my dead mother's love and ended up wounding Voldemort thus bringing about thirteen years of peace and happiness."

Dawn raised an eyebrow. Xander didn't blame her. A pretty impressive resume, even for a Scooby.

Harry paused for a moment, then looked down at Dawn. "Why are you famous?"

"I'm the Key," Dawn answered simply.

Harry seemed confused. "Key of what?"

Dawn frowned, then turned to Giles. "I'm not famous?"

"No, Harry was raised as a Muggle," monster hair girl replied in a very know-it-all tone. "And he won't get his mind off of Quidditch long enough to wrap it around important magical events."

Ron nodded emphatically/ "Harry, mate, the Key? Remember? Hellgoddess Glorificus tearing up the Hellmouth to find it?"

Harry frowned hard as he thought. "When was this?"

Monster hair girl rolled her eyes. "Well, the papers covered Glorificus's reemergence in the middle to end of fourth year and the story of the Key was reported soon after that. The book came out last June. I gave it to you for your birthday. Remember?"

Harry rolled his eyes at that. "Well, I wasn't too keen on the papers in fourth year, Hermione."

Ron did the unsubtle not-cough. "_Skeeter_!"

"And after that, I was a bit preoccupied," Harry continued as if he had not been interrupted. "I remember the book though. I thought it was an interesting fiction."

"Book?" Willow repeated, confused.

One of the twins nodded. "_Buffy Summers and the Order of Glorificus_."

Buffy scowled. "Okay…"

The other twin smiled. "Part of a series of seven, you know."

"Seven?" Willow squeaked.

"They're great!" Ron nearly shouted, flinging a bit of ice cream in the direction of a very bored looking Snapple. "The best books ever written!"

"There are only five out at the moment," the redheaded girl chimed in. "The new one is due out in the summer I believe."

Buffy wasn't pleased. She turned to Giles and scowled at him. "Hey, isn't it illegal to write books about me without my consent?"

Giles gave a small shrug. "The Council authorized it several years ago."

"What!"

"They were compensated," the Watcher continued, unfazed. "I'll see to it you all receive that compensation."

Faith's eyes widened. "All? We're in them?"

"Of course," monster hair quipped. "There's our heroine, Buffy Summers. Her close friends, loyal Xander Harris and know-it-all Willow Rosenberg. The rogue Slayer Faith Wilkins and the surly sister Dawn Summers."

"Don't forget Angel," the redheaded girl nearly swooned.

Buffy looked pale. "Okay, you can stop telling the story of our lives now."

Willow wasn't fairing much better. She turned to Xander, looking very pathetic. "What do you think?"

"I think that this is really weird," Xander replied honestly, the ice cream in his stomach starting to feel a little heavy. "How is it possible to be a celebrity and not know it?"

Giles sighed. "Trust me, you would have found out eventually."

"Xander and his fan club," Faith said with a small laugh.

"All right, enough sweets," Mrs. Weasley said firmly. Xander had argued with the best of them, especially where it concerned sugar. But there was no way he was going to cross this woman. Ever.

Mrs. Weasley padded around, pointing her wand at various dirty dishes and floating them off to the sink. She patted Dawn on the head and gave her a large smile. "Are you sure you don't want anything more filling?"

Dawn smiled back at the woman, clearly loving being babied. "No, we're fine, thank you."

She eyed the younger members of the group. "Well, then, I think it's best to get you all off to bed."

Dawn frowned. "What about the whole getting married problem?"

"Well, best leave such problems to the good light of day," Mrs. Weasley replied, looking to her brother for support. Giles simply nodded. "Hermione, Ginny, would you please show Dawn up to you girls' room?"

Monster hair girl and the redhead nodded and rose. Monster hair girl, or apparently Hermione, motioned to Dawn. "Of course, Mrs. Weasley. Dawn?"

Dawn made a face before turning to glance at Willow, Buffy, Xander, Faith, and Giles. "Night, guys."

Giles smiled warmly. "Goodnight, Dawn."

She then nodded to everyone else at the table. "Goodnight, everyone. It was so nice to meet all of you."

"Night, Mum," the redheaded girl said, giving Mrs. Weasley a quick hug. Then she turned and gave Mr. Weasley and Giles each a quick peck on the cheek. "Dad. Uncle Ripper, I'm glad you're back."

Giles nodded at the girl, glowing with pride. "Goodnight, Ginny."

Mrs. Weasley watched the girls go upstairs before rounding on the boys. "Harry, Ron, time for bed."

Ron instantly soured. "Mum, we're seventeen."

"Which is why you all have such a problem," Mrs. Weasley said sternly. "Now, off to bed, then."

Harry nodded and silently retreated without further argument. Ron sighed and began to follow, then paused. "Goodnight, Uncle Ripper. You won't leave will you?"

Giles shook his head. "I expect I might be here to stay, Ronald."

Ron perked up at that, then waved awkwardly to the remaining Scoobies. "It was nice to meet you all."

Willow nodded. "Nice to meet you guys."

Mr. Weasley waited a few moments then rose to look up the stairs. Once he was satisfied that the boys weren't lingering in the stairwell to eavesdrop, he turned back to the assembled group. "Now, then, I suppose we'll have an adult chat."

"Just a moment, dear," Mrs. Weasley said as she turned towards the twins. "Fred, George?"

They were outraged. "Mum, we're nineteen!"

"Out," she said firmly. "You have to be up bright and early to get to the Ministry."

They glared at her as they started towards the stairs. One muttered very loudly, "Fascist."

Giles tried to suppress a smile, but couldn't quite manage it. "I agree with you, boys."

Mrs. Weasley shot him a look. "Rupert!"

Giles waved the young men off. "Get along, then. It was good to see you again."

One of the twins, the one that hadn't muttered, gave Giles a knowing look. "You have a lot of explaining to do, don't think we'll be letting you slide."

Giles mouth twitched at the corner. "As much as I've done for you?"

Mrs. Weasley's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing, Mum," the other twin said a little too quickly. He smiled innocently at her as he pushed his twin towards the door. "Goodnight."

Then it was them. Buffy, Willow, Faith, Giles, scary grandpa, Loopy, three redheads, Snapple, and Xander.

"So," Faith started slowly. "We're all gonna talk."

Dumb-bell-door nodded, his eyes twinkling. "That would probably be wise."

"We're not going through with this," Willow said firmly.

Mrs. Weasley sat down between her husband and Giles, confused. "But…dear, if you don't, you'll go to Azkaban."

Faith looked unimpressed. "The jail?"

"Please," Buffy said with a dismissive wave. "Do you think a jail could hold us? You've obviously heard the stories about us."

"I know they could probably hold Mr. Harris and the younger Miss Summers," Dumb-bell-door replied with a small smile "The elder Miss Summers and Miss Wilkins I'm not so sure about. And I know Miss Rosenberg cannot be contained."

Buffy was adamant. "Well, not a one of us will be put away, not while we look out for each other. Listen, I know you people mean well and all, but we'll just go back to LA and help out Angel."

Giles sighed and removed his glasses so he could pinch the bridge of his nose. "Buffy, it's not that simple."

"Yeah, it really is," Buffy said with a shrug. "There's not a person on this earth that can make any of us do anything. They might come after us, but we'll beat them back, no prob."

"And if you go out on Patrol one night?" Giles asked, giving her a serious look. "Willow somewhere, picking up a pizza, saving an innocent, something in between those extremes? What happens once someone takes Dawn and locks her up for this? When someone takes Xander? Even you or Faith? The Ministry of Magic is not one that takes insults well. Your refusal to comply with this law will be taken as a mighty insult. You are famous, role models, and thus held to a higher standard. The message you will send to the world by your noncompliance will not be one that the Ministry will suffer. They would send all they had at you."

"Please," Buffy nearly laughed. "We've faced _so_ much worse."

Giles nodded, agreeing with at least that. "You might be able to hold them off…for a time. But what will happen when it becomes too much? Will you kill? Kill humans? I don't think you can."

"I will do what I have to," Buffy replied coldly. "We'll be protected well enough. We'll be in America, we'll get Wolfram and Hart on it, we'll have protection in the dozens of LA Slayers, not to mention Angel, Gunn, Wesley--"

"Ah," Snapple cut in, his dark eyes icy. "And you do understand that the America part of that will offer no support? Muggle governments answer to magical governments. The American Bureau of Magic has strong ties to the British Ministry. Such strong ties that it is certain that they would not allow you refuge under them."

Mr. Weasley nodded. "In fact, I don't know if you'd be particularly in any better situation in _any_ other magical country. They all face this population problem and they would all look upon this act of fleeing as a grave crime. Loyalty to government and the obedience of magical law is valued very highly in wizard culture."

"And, while I do think we should contact Wolfram and Hart and make use of their wizard legal means immediately, it'll take time to get anything accomplished in court," Giles continued. "Beyond that, there's little Wolfram and Hart would be able to do. And to flee back to LA, well, let's just say that the laws regarding vampire treatment are harsh. Angelus is a well-known vampire and the Ministry would not feel anything less than justified if they had him dispatched. And using the others, well, that makes them accessories to the crime. They'd be answerable under the Muggle Involvement Acts. They'd go to a very special prison for non-magical people who get illegally involved in something to do with the wizarding world. I hesitate to use the phrase 'concentration camp' to describe them, but these types of prison are harsh."

"Harsh for a reason," Snapple interjected. "Mugles have no right to muddle in magical affairs."

Xander rolled his eye. "Right, then Giles, point us to this Ministry, and we'll show them what the Scooby Gang is made of."

"Yes, do," Giles said, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "Kill all wizards. Join with this Voldemort to destroy the Ministry, then turn on him and kill him and his followers. And not just here, in the world. Because that will be what it takes."

Loopy gave them a sympathetic smile. "The Ministry does not hold up well to insults."

"Especially from Mudbloods," Snapple muttered.

"Their every resource will be used against you," Giles continued, the sarcasm gone and the old Ripper-edge in his voice. "They could make you hunted by Muggle governments for crimes you've never committed. And that is best case scenario."

Willow swallowed reflexively. "What's worst case?"

"They could cut you off economically, both Muggle and magical," Giles suggested. "Make it so none of you ever get a job. Freeze all assets you do have. Take all I have from me so I could not help you. Revoke all your licenses. Shut you off from the world. Starve you into compliance. The power the Council had in the height of it's success is miniscule compared to the Ministry. They could do all that and worse in a heartbeat. Things you won't even begin to imagine until it's done. Never a physical blow, but take everything from you with the stroke of a pen. Or quill, in this case."

"Political punishment," Willow mumbled. She had gone pale.

Faith, too, had lost most of her fight. "Worse than prison."

"We can work around all of that," Buffy said, slamming her fist onto the table. "Giles, I have never taken orders from anyone. I won't let this stupid full of itself government do this to me. I won't let them do it to _any_ of us. I sure as hell won't let them do this to Dawn."

Giles stood, eyes blazing. "Buffy, what do you want to do! March into the Ministry and act like a _terrorist_? Use violence to affect change? You are so much better than that!"

Buffy looked stricken. "I wouldn't be like a terrorist."

"To so many thousands, maybe millions, that is all you would be!" Giles hissed. "No better than the cowards that attack and sacrifice innocents to achieve their own agenda. That is not what your power is meant for and to use it as such would be the greatest sin!"

Faith looked over to Buffy and sighed. "He's right, B."

Buffy looked lost. "But…this is so wrong. It's an evil. Something that is ruining the lives of innocents. Innocents I am meant to protect."

"Arranged marriages are a part of wizarding tradition," Mr. Weasley reasoned. "They span back thousands of generations. This is a little extreme, but a guarantee you that the majority of the populace will not see this as you do."

Loopy nodded his agreement. "Even the Muggle-borns will only see this law as biased, not completely wrong. They are taught our culture in school. This is a part of it. And the law is biased, a bias I am sure will be rectified given a few months time."

"Buffy, we can't use force to get out of this," Willow reasoned, having accepted the inevitable. "We need to work within the boundaries of the law."

Giles stepped to Buffy and looked down at her, expression now gentle. "I know you do not like this." He looked up at all of them, beseeching them. "I don't either. It's horrible of me to do this, but I'm going to ask you. Please, as a favor to me, _for_ me, do as I ask on this subject. If you refuse, there will be consequences. Maybe not immediately, but someday, it will come back to haunt you. Even if you survive, you'll be hunted. You'll be forced into killers. Into thieves. Just trust me. I will fix this. It isn't legal. Whatever situations you are forced into, they'll be temporary."

Buffy sighed, resigned. "Okay."

"I made up a room for you girls to share," Mrs. Weasley said softly. "This way."

Silently, almost defeated, Faith, Willow, and Buffy followed Mrs. Weasley.

Mr. Weasley stood and motioned to Xander. "And Mr. Harris, you and Rupert will be rooming with Fred and George. I trust you know the way, Rupert?"

"Thank you, Arthur." Giles sounded very tired. And looked very old. "Come, Xander."

Xander sighed and followed Giles. Up the stairs to the scary entrance hall and then to more stairs.

"Giles?" Xander called to his mentor. Giles stopped and looked over his shoulder at the younger man. Xander felt like a child again. "I'm scared."

Giles softened. He placed a hand on Xander's shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze. "Don't worry, Xander. Trust that I'll take care of you."

Xander looked at the face of the older man. One he had known for years. And he felt the worry melt away. "I trust you, Giles."

A/N: I know I said the pairings would be out this chapter, but I kinda got sidetracked. Had a whole lotta people emailing asking why the Scoobs didn't just march into the Ministry and blow it up. Well, I fear for you people, especially the Americans. Hello, have you learned nothing from the past four years? YOU DO NOT USE VIOLENCE TO AFFECT CHANGE! Ever. The Scoobies have demonstrated in the past that they would majorly rebel, especially when someone or something tries to manipulate them, I agree, but they've also proven that they know where the line is. Did anyone else see the sixth season? Even though the Ministry is in the wrong here, for the Scoobies to do something like storm the Ministry and rewrite law _would _be akin to terrorism. Anyone who disagrees, well, sorry. That's what I think and it's not going to change. I'm a Liberal. Well…sorta.


	6. An Arrangement From Hell

Buffy woke that morning to mass confusion and hysteria. Or maybe not so mass as she was the only one really confused. She awoke alone in the dreary and dusty room she and Willow and Faith had shared the night before, in the rickety bed she had taken for herself. She had slept reasonably well, even though her sleep had been plagued with strange dreams, as per usual.

Willow and Faith's beds were empty, which really didn't concern Buffy at all. Buffy was the Slayer, which usually resulted in late nights and even later mornings. Faith had the stamina of…something that had lots of stamina and therefore barely ever slept at all. Willow wasn't the best of morning-persons, but she was still better than Buffy.

Buffy yawned and rolled out of bed, quickly searching for the clothes she had laid out the night before. Opting for the lazy comfy route, she pulled on the sweatpants and baby-tee then pulled her hair back out of her face. Then she headed for the hall and the stairs.

It didn't take long to find everyone. They were back in the room they had entered the house from. The whole gang minus Giles and Faith were there, joined by several of Giles's nephews, his niece, the busy-haired girl, and the thin black-haired boy with the scar.

The twin redheads, Fred and George if she remembered correctly, were off in a corner whispering conspiratorially. For some reason, that struck Buffy as bad.

Their sister was bustling around the room in a way that was almost eerily similar to her mother. She had a tray piled up with food which she was delivering to the people in the room.

The black-haired boy and the younger redhead, Harry and…uh…Ron, were sitting on a ratty old settee against the wall. Dawn and Xander were in large squishy-looking wing-back chairs facing them. Harry didn't look pleased with this arrangement. Ron was splitting his time gazing at Dawn and Xander in awe and rolling his eyes at Harry.

Willow was in the floor between the settee and chairs along with the girl Hermione, both surrounded by a frightening number of books. Willow looked calm and cheerfully collected. The Hermione girl…well, the only word for her at the moment was terrifying. Her hair seemed to be sticking out at various angles and she was scrawling away madly ion a roll of parchment with a large feather quill, eyes darting between various opened books surrounding her.

Dawn was the first to see her, smiling way too brightly for the morning. "Sleep well?"

Buffy scowled as she leaned against the side of the large chair Xander sat in, rubbing at her sleep-heavy eyes. "I had weird dreams."

This piqued Hermione's interest and the girl looked up from her mound of books. "Slayer dreams?"

"Well, maybe," Buffy said, shrugging as she slid around to sit on the arm of the chair. Xander smiled at her and wrapped an arm lightly around her waist to steady her. "I kept seeing the White Rabbit from _Alice in Wonderland_, who told me I was late for my wedding, then took me to some Vegas chapel where I married Clem in an orange dress."

"Ugh," Willow spat, expression disgusted. "I hope it wasn't a Slayer dream."

Buffy turned to smile at Willow and Hermione, then cocked her head to get a better look at whatever it was they were working on. "What are you doing?"

Hermione looked up at Buffy again. "I'm trying to figure out some way to get out of this. There has to be a loophole somewhere."

Ron saw the frightened look on Buffy's face and nodded as he picked at the plate of eggs in his lap. "Hermione can be very scary."

Buffy fought the urge to give a low whistle and simply nodded back at the boy. "I see that."

"She's like a mini-Willow," Xander said as he accepted a plate of eggs from Ginny.

"Hey!" Willow shot Xander an indignant look. "I am not scary."

"Ah, Miss Summers," Ginny interrupted the mad banter, looking at Buffy expectantly. "How do you take your eggs?"

Buffy shrugged. "Scrambled is fine if you got it. And never call me Miss Summers ever again…Ginny, right?"

"Ginny," the girl confirmed with a grin. "I got it, Buffy."

Dawn turned to Buffy as Ginny headed off towards the kitchen. The brunette was smiling brightly still and Buffy felt a headache coming on. But it disappeared when her little sister shoved an object into her hands. "Buffy, this house is so cool. They have the weirdest stuff here. Look! The pictures move."

Buffy looked down at the photo in her hands. It was of Hermione, Ron and Harry, somewhere other than here. And the three figures were, indeed, moving. Actually, Hermione was scowling and smacking Ron up the head ever so often as he and Harry laughed at something only they could see. "Weird."

Dawn nodded knowingly. "And the lady in the painting in the front hall totally told Faith off."

Buffy frowned and looked up and around the room. But her sister-slayer was nowhere in sight. "Where is Faith?"

"Yelling at the lady in the painting," Xander replied with a shrug.

Ginny reappeared with her eggs, smiling widely. "I've never known Mrs. Black to ever be quiet, much less cower like she is."

"So, where are all the old people?" Buffy asked.

Dawn shrugged. "Off deciding what to do about all of this."

Buffy scowled as she remembered their present situation. "What's the popular option?"

"Well, I wanted to kill that Fudge guy," Faith answered as she walked in from the hall, scowling, her face red, "but it didn't go over so well."

Buffy swallowed her smile and watched Faith as she flopped onto the sofa beside Ron. "I'll bet."

Ron looked at Faith in a strange mix of awe and fear then slid off the settee and onto the floor. Taking one of the books from Hermione, he smiled at her, trying hard to cover the tremble in his voce when he said, "Here, let me help."

"Me, too," Buffy offered, though this was more of a self-serving offer since she needed to sit somewhere where she could easily eat her eggs. Willow, though, shot her a look that said she wasn't fooled before handing Buffy some notes and a book.

Hermione looked up at them and nodded uncomprehendingly. "We're cross-referencing an official copy of the law to the Wizengamot's ruling of Muggle-born/pureblood equality."

"Might at least get all the restrictions on Muggle-borns dealt with," Willow explained to them at their confused looks.

Buffy nodded and looked down at her copy of the law that had made her life a living hell overnight. "Whoa," she muttered blinking at the scrawl covering most of the page. "Long law."

"Not really," Hermione said dismissively as she discarded yet another book and reached for another. "Not with all the terms that go with it."

This caused everyone to freeze then slowly turn to the wild-haired girl.

"Terms?" Harry repeated tentatively.

Hermione gave a long suffering sigh and looked up at her friend. "Harry, did you read the entire law, or just through subsection three?"

Harry blinked very quickly. "Uh…"

"Uh oh," Xander said, expression one of a man that knew something bad was coming.

Dawn didn't look much better. "There are subsections? That sounds potentially bad."

"It is bad," Willow snapped as she grabbed the paper she had just handed Buffy back. Apparently, she hadn't read the thing fully either. "That means they're going to require stuff of us."

"Besides getting married?" Faith asked, finally understanding the panic.

"Hermione, just read it," Ron said, frustrated. "I can't take the waiting."

Hermione shrugged then looked down and read:

"Civil Union Decree 137.4.

"Every couple married as a result of a petition of union must remain married for a period of no less than ten years. Extenuating circumstances must be brought before the Wizengamot."

"Ten years!" Faith repeated shrilly.

Xander's eye closed and he started rubbing at his temple as if he had a migraine. "Oh, god."

Buffy could only process what that meant in terms of her life. "I'll be in, like, my thirties!"

Willow, though, took this in stride and turned to Hermione. "What's a Wizengamot?"

"It's our form of court," the brunette explained.

Willow accepted this with a nod. "Ah."

"This is ridiculous," Harry spat as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Oh, it gets worse," Willow said as she read her own copy of the law silently.

Everyone blinked

"How worse?" Ginny asked suspiciously.

Hermione sighed, then continued:

"Civil Union Decree 137.5.

"Every couple married as a result of a petition of union must reside together for the duration of their marriage. Extenuating circumstances must be brought before the Wizengamot."

This one was met with silence rather than panic.

Finally, Dawn sighed. "Well, that nips the faux marriage idea in the bud."

"How specific is that?" Buffy asked, trying to find a loophole in her mind. "Same bedroom or same country…?"

Hermione shrugged. "I assume that depends on a case by case analysis of the marriages."

"Fantastic," one of the twins muttered. Everyone looked over at them to see they were listening attentively as well.

Hermione then continued:

"Civil Union Decree 137.6.

"Every couple married as a result of a petition of union must consummate their marriage for it to be legally binding. A grace period of two months from the date of marriage will be allowed for all couples. Extenuating circumstances must be brought before the Wizengamot."

Xander looked up, not upset by that at all but seeming, instead, interested. "Consummate?"

Dawn, however, was horrified. "Sex?"

Harry whipped his head around to Ron. "Take McGonagall off my list. Now."

Ron made a vomiting gesture as he ripped a big portion of the parchment in front of him off and threw it behind the settee as if it could actually physically attack him.

"Well, as I see it, that could be a plus," the other twin, Buffy thought that one was George, said, earning a slap upside the head from his sister. "Maybe not for you kiddies."

"Dawn is far too young to be having sex," Buffy said firmly.

Xander looked torn, then reluctantly shrugged. "She's legal, Buffy."

"She's seventeen!" Buffy shouted.

"How old were you when you boffed the soul outta Angel?" Dawn pointed out.

Buffy opened her mouth, then stopped, then looked down in defeat. "That was different."

"This is so stupid!" Willow nearly shouted. "What does forced marriages solve anyway? They want kids, not couples…" Willow trailed off, looking pensive, before looking down at the parchment in her lap. Her face turned green. "Oh, shit."

Dreading the answer, Buffy turned to Hermione. "Hermione?"

Hermione almost looked sorry to be the bearer of bad news. "Willow's right."

Faith stood at this. "Oh, god, don't tell me that--"

"Civil Union Decree 137.7," Hermione continued on.

"Every couple married as a result of a petition of union must produce one viable offspring within a year of the marriage ceremony. Extenuating circumstances must be brought before the Wizengamot."

Silence.

Then Harry jumped to his feet. "I've gotta have a kid!"

"Whoa," Faith said, looking like she was ready to argue with Hermione. "I was not meant to procreate."

"Most of us weren't," Xander agreed.

Ron was pale. "To have a kid, there has to be…"

"Consummating," Harry finished with a dry gulp. "Within two months."

Dawn looked over to Harry, sympathy in her eyes for the boy she pretty much hated. "So, what's your list look like?"

Harry sighed and shrugged. "Dismal."

Dawn cocked her head and considered this before giving a quick half-nod and turning to Ron. "So, tell me more about this Seamus."

"He's all right," Ron said as he flipped through the book on his lap aimlessly. "A bit odd. It probably won't be long before he's petitioned for, being a Gryffindor."

"But the important thing, Dawn, is he can petition for you," Hermione cut in without looking up.

"Cause he's mixed, right?" Dawn asked as she shifted awkwardly in her seat, watching Faith pace back and forth still panicking at the thought of having a child.

"Yeah," Ron said with a nod. "We'll go see him tomorrow."

"We need to run it by Dumbledore first," Hermione pointed out.

"This is hopeless!" Willow said as she through the book in her hands to the floor. She sighed and leaned back against Xander's legs. She looked up and smiled at him affectionately. "Can't Xander marry me?"

"You're both Muggle-born," Hermione said automatically. "Neither of you has the right to petition."

Willow stuck out her lip in a pout. "My life sucks."

"What about the LA people?" Dawn suggested.

Buffy frowned. "I don't think they'll let me marry Angel. That won't really help their offspring problem."

"Well, there's Wesley," Xander suggested as he played with Willow's hair.

Buffy shot him a disgusted look. "Oh, gross, Xander!"

"What about Andrew?" the one-eyed young man tried again as he started a small braid.

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Yeah, cause we all know how much Andrew likes girls."

"You can't petition for these people, so it won't help matters," Hermione chirped up again.

Buffy shot the girl a look. She was really starting to become frightened. "What are we going to do?"

Faith groaned as she stopped pacing and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "This is a nightmare."

"Well, children, you are a rather dismal lot, aren't you?"

They all whirled around to find the adults in the doorway. Dumbledore, the one that had spoke, was leading the brigade, eyes twinkling in a way that made Buffy extremely suspicious. Giles stood to his right, looking tired but satisfied. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were to his left. Mr. Weasley seemed very chipper and Mrs. Weasley was…well, she was glowing with pride. There were others with them. Giles' hot nephew. A very stern looking woman. A man that had been introduced the night before as Mr. Lupin. The scary evil-looking scowly guy. The girl about the gang's age with bright pink hair.

Buffy's attention was drawn to Giles as he stepped forward to stand before the group. "Tell me you found a way to fix this."

Giles nodded. "We think we've solved all our problems."

Faith gave an excited hop as she shouted, "We're going to kill Fudge!"

Everyone shot her a look. The evil-looking guy sneered. Giles shook his head. "Uh, no."

Faith was more than disappointed. She deflated and looked longingly at the floor. "Drat."

Mr. Lupin chuckled at Faith's antics, then turned to the others. "We believe we've found appropriate spouses and they have all been kind enough to volunteer to petition for you."

"Yay," Dawn muttered, sarcasm practically dripping to the floor.

Willow looked surprised at this announcement. "You already contacted them?"

"Yes and no," Dumbledore said mysteriously. He turned to Faith and motioned for her to step forward. "Miss Faith?"

Faith did as was indicated and nervously looked to the old man. "Yo."

Giles' hot nephew stepped forward and gave a deep nod of respect. "Miss Wilkins, you're greatness is legendary throughout our world," he began, words reeking of practice. Faith looked at him intently, examining him closely as he continued. "It would be my greatest honor to wed with you. My name is Bill Weasley. I'm Ron's older brother. I work for the most prominent wizarding bank in the world by day and by night, I am privileged to work with this esteemed group against the forces--"

The man was cut off when Faith suddenly stepped forward, reached around, and brought her hand down firmly on his backside with a loud smack. Bill looked at her in shock, then his face reddened and gave a small yelp as Faith squeezed.

After a moment, Faith released the poor boy, smiling at him appreciatively. "You'll do."

Everyone, except the Scoobies and Dumbledore, was shocked by this transaction. The Scoobies just knew what to expect from Faith and as such were not fazed by her blatant sexuality. Dumbledore seemed to be amused.

With a small satisfied nod at the first successful match, Dumbledore turned his twinkling eyes to Xander. "Alexander," he said to get Xander's attention. Once he had it, he motioned to the pink-haired girl. "This is Nymphadora Tonks."

The girl stepped up to Xander, cheeks several shades darker than her hair as she looked at Xander in embarrassment. "Wotcher, Xander."

Xander stood and looked from the girl to Giles, unsure of what to do next. Giles misread this look as confusion and said, "She'll be your wife."

Xander, for lack of a better thing to do nodded then, in Xander-like fashion, gave the girl an awkward hug. She seemed pleased by this. When he released her, she looked up at him with more confidence. She paused, looking at his hair, then closed her eyes. A moment later, her hair began to darken, until it was the same exact shade as Xander's. she opened her eyes and looked at Xander again, nervous once more.

Xander just stared at the girl in awe. "That is so cool."

Mrs. Weasley chose this moment to step forward. She looked down at Willow who was still sitting on the floor. "Miss Rosenberg?"

Willow looked up, face tinged a slight shade of green as she waited for Mrs. Weasley's news anxiously. "Yes?"

Mrs. Weasley bent down and pulled the girl to her feet then enveloped her in a much warmer, slightly teary-er hug. "My son agreed to petition for you. Welcome to the family!"

Ron looked horrified. "I never!"

Mrs. Weasley instantly released Willow and whirled around to bear down on her youngest son. "Ronald Weasley, you'll do well to remember that you'll marry who I tell you to when I tell you to!"

Everyone was stunned into silence.

After a moment Xander broke it by muttering, "Scary."

Willow gave Ron a slightly odd look before turning to Giles' sister. "Mrs. Weasley…Ron's great…but…I…I think he might be…a little young."

Mrs. Weasley turned back to Willow and took one of her hands in both of hers, smiling warmly as she patted the hand. "Thank you, sweetheart, but I didn't mean Ron."

Ron looked almost put-out. "But…Fred and George just…Angelina and Alicia…Charlie…Nell…Bill's but…with Faith…"

Mr. Weasley cleared his throat, calling everyone's attention to him. He smiled and simply said, "Percy."

"Percy!" Fred, George, Ron, Ginny, and Harry shouted at once.

"Mum, you can't do that to her," Fred said in a distressed tone.

George nodded his agreement. "She's an innocent girl!"

Willow glanced around with a nervous smile. "Should I be scared?"

Giles rolled his eyes, then pulled his wallet from his back pocket. From it he pulled a small photo from the stack he had collected and handed it to Willow. "This is Percy, Willow. He's a very fine young man. Reminds me a bit of me."

Buffy frowned and shot her Watcher a suspicious look. "Ripper you or librarian you?"

Ron made a disgusted face. "You were a librarian?"

Willow examined the picture, Faith looking curiously over her shoulder. The Slayer looked the picture over then nodded in approval. "He looks screwable."

"Faith!" Mrs. Weasley said, hand to her chest, scandalized.

Faith gave the woman a half-way apologetic smile. "Sorry, Mrs. W."

"He looks nice," Willow agreed slowly as she handed the picture back to Giles.

Fred and George looked at each other, then as one turned and looked at Willow and saluted her as if saluting a soldier going off to war. "Oh, Willow…we barely knew thee."

Willow started to look nauseous again. "Is something wrong with him?"

"He's a git," Ron said vehemently.

Giles sighed. "As I said, he's a very fine young man. Just a little single-minded."

"Bighead Boy," Ginny snickered.

Willow thought this over, then shrugged. Then she turned to Faith and shot the brunette Slayer a knowing smile. "So does this mean Faith will be, like, my sister?"

Faith, now understanding Willow's delight, broke into a grin too. "Giles will be our uncle."

"Rakish uncle," Giles supplied immediately.

Buffy couldn't take it anymore. "What about me?"

Giles gave Buffy a nervous look before collecting himself and stepping towards her. "Buffy, I'm entrusting you to the hands of a very good friend of mine."

Buffy didn't like the guilty look on Giles' face. "Who?"

The scowly, evil guy stepped forward and sneered down at her. "My name is Severus Snape."

Buffy took the tall, sallow, hook-nosed man in with a gulp. Behind her, she heard Xander whisper, "Ye gads!"

They stared at each other a moment before Buffy turned and gave Giles a pout. "Do I have to?"

Giles gave her a nervous smile and nodded. "Remus inquired about his ability at the Ministry. He was barred."

Buffy looked at Mr. Lupin and immediately knew that she would rather have him by a long shot. "Why?"

"I'm a lycanthrope," Mr. Lupin explained quietly.

This caught Willow's attention. "Really? My first boyfriend was, too."

"What if you bit me?" Buffy asked, almost sincerely.

Giles sighed in frustration. "Buffy, there are many reasons it must be Severus. Most of which because of Dawn."

"What about me?" Dawn asked, intrigued.

"You're the Key," Dumbledore explained gently. "You'll need protection. As will your husband."

The color drained from Harry's face. He knew that damnable twinkle in the old man's eye. "Husband?"

Dumbledore nodded. "Harry, you'll petition for Dawn."

Harry and Dawn both looked up, horrified.

"No!"


	7. Tea and Explanations

"Is Dawn all right?"

Buffy looked up at the group assembled in the strange kitchen of Grimmauld Place as she walked in through the door. She nodded, though it was a little bit of a lie. Dawn was terrified and furious, and horribly upset, but she was dealing. She was upstairs in the room with Hermione and Ginny in the room the three of them shared. The girls were doing their best to console the youngest Summers and try and give her a little background information on Harry. They were doing a marvelous job with their first goal, but not so much with the second. Dawn could be set off with even the smallest mention of Harry's name.

Everyone watched her expectantly as she came further into the kitchen. It wasn't very crowded, thankfully. Just the Scoobies, minus Dawn, and Arthur and Molly. They were kinda hiding after the announcement made less than an hour ago. While everyone upstairs was either discussing the impending marriages or doing something related to their stupid butt war, the kitchen, for all its gloominess, was peaceful.

Molly was finishing up the soup for lunch and working on the lamb she was roasting for dinner. Instead of the hurried bustle they had seen earlier, this time she seemed to be moving at a more leisurely pace. She was…calm. And glowing. Very happy. Buffy wasn't sure why exactly. Whether it was from the announcement earlier or from having her only brother back home or some other reason, it was anyone's guess.

Willow, Xander, and Faith were sitting together, Faith next to Willow, Willow across from Xander. All three had steaming bowls of the beef soup Molly had made for lunch and a small sandwich. Giles was sitting between Xander and Arthur, both of whom had empty bowls and sandwich crusts before them.

"I think it's been a little much for her all at once," Buffy explained as she collapsed in the chair next to Faith and across from Mr. Weasley. "Plus, she hates Harry."

Arthur shared an amused look with Giles. He the smiled kindly at Buffy. "Hate is a rather strong word for someone she's known less than a day."

Buffy shot the redheaded man a withering look. "And yet."

"Putting them together will make it easier to protect them," Giles said in a softer tone of voice as he tried to soothe her fears. "They are both powerful people that are barely able to protect themselves."

"They're young," Buffy said, suddenly feeling very tired as she leaned against the table heavily. "Younger than they should be getting married and all."

"Nonsense, Buffy dear, Dawn is more than old enough to be married," Molly Weasley dismissed as she popped next to Buffy and sat a large bowl of soup and a sandwich in front of her as well. "Why, she wouldn't be in this predicament if she weren't. Now, tuck in."

Before Buffy could really think about Molly's words, let alone be confused about the tuck in comment, the woman was back at her stove. Instead Buffy looked down at the cooling soup. It seemed to be beef and vegetable and smelled like heaven.

"I don't know I much like the idea of Dawn sleeping with this Potter guy, though," Xander suddenly jumped into the conversation as he dropped his spoon into his empty bowl with a loud clang. He seemed serious and had a bit of an air of protectiveness to him. "With the hate and all. Feels a lot like rape."

"With any luck, they won't have to," Arthur explained slowly to the gathered group. "Albus is right now at the Ministry trying to convince them to give all those young people who are affected by this that are still students at his school a little leeway in regards to some aspects of the law."

A strange thought suddenly struck Buffy and she couldn't help but crack a small smile. "I can see where being pregnant or having a kid and being at school would be bad. Then multiplying that by magic…"

"Yes," Giles said with a smile that mirrored Buffy's. "I just hope he can make them see reason."

Xander snorted. "Doubtful."

"So, you do have a reason for our various pairings, don't you?" Willow chimed in, trying to slightly change the subject. "I mean, it will be a little too obvious that the Order was behind this if we don't come up with some sort of cover story."

"Simple," Arthur said with a gesture to Giles. "Rupert."

Faith frowned. "What about him?"

"He's your Head of Family," Molly explained as she finally sat down next to her husband.

Buffy blinked. "He is?"

Xander frowned. "What does that mean?"

Giles hesitated, then simply said, "I adopted you as my wards."

For the first time since Willow had screamed that they had to get married, Buffy felt warm inside. It suddenly all made so much sense. For so long, Giles had been her father. He knew. She knew. They had a deep love for each other and for the rest of the gang. It was rarely brought up, but each of them knew it was there. But it had never been anything more binding than emotion, which in some ways was the best bond though still loose in others. That had all changed.

Giles had claimed the Scoobies as his family, not only in the emotional sense but legally as well. Though Giles hadn't told them about it at the time, it had still happened. And knowing that she had finally been adopted as his, it meant more to her than she could have ever dreamed it would.

She stared at her Watcher as she felt the warm sting of tears filling her eyes. "Why didn't you tell us?"

Giles seemed a little overcome as well. "I would have hoped that you already felt as if I were, well…"

Suddenly Willow lunged across the table and grabbed Giles's hand, tears already streaming down her face. "We love you, too, Giles."

He gave a small cough, then extracted his hand from Willow's before reaching up to remove his glasses. He focused on cleaning them rather than look at Buffy, Willow, Xander, or Faith. "As for the reason I made it official, I thought it best to be seen as your father when dealing with this foreign world. It actually has quite a few benefits. My father died some time ago, so my part of the old family inheritance will be divided amongst you upon my death."

Xander cracked a smile, even though Buffy could see that he had obviously been affected by the news. "Let's kill you now then."

Giles sent him a look before continuing on, "Things concerning you like this law must be reported to me immediately. If I hadn't been your Head of Family, you just would have received owl after owl of wild marriage proposals out of the blue. You would have ignored them, then a week later been Buffy Goyle, Faith Crabbe, Willow Nott, Dawn Malfoy, and Xander Black."

Xander started to nod, then stopped, then turned to Giles in confusion. "Xander Black?"

Giles hmmed and nodded. "Mudbloods marrying into Pureblood families usually take the Pureblood name to save face."

"Rupert Giles!" Molly shouted in shock before reaching across her husband, who wisely ducked, and smacked Giles upside the head.

"What!" Giles huffed indignantly as he rubbed the back of his head.

Molly jumped to her feet and stormed over to stand over the seated Giles. "I will not tolerate that kind of language in my house."

"Back!" Giles snapped as he rose to his feet and loomed over Molly, having a good foot and a half on her. "Insane woman!"

Molly made a strange clucking sound before going back to the pot of soup, fuming. She turned over her shoulder and gave Giles a dirty look. "Miserable lout!"

Then they both mellowed and went back to their previous seats. Everyone, save Arthur, seemed torn between shock and Amusement. Arthur was just amused.

Buffy chuckled. "You guys really are brother and sister, huh?"

Faith rolled her eyes and shook her head, though she seemed fondly entertained. Then she turned to Molly, eyes too curious to stay too long on the antics of the reunited Giles siblings. "So, mine and Willow's marriage to Bill and Perce can be written off as arranged marriages between family, right?"

"Yes," Molly replied with a nod. "As can Buffy's."

Xander frowned. "Snapple is family?"

Giles mouth quirked into a small smile before he composed his features again. "No. Severus is a close friend of mine. It's natural that I'd arrange Buffy's marriage with him."

"And we'll claim Harry's marriage to Dawn was arranged between Rupert and Arthur," Molly added, smiling happily again. "Harry is like a son to us. We were only too happy to arrange this."

"Are most marriages in wizard culture arranged?" Willow asked as she picked the crust carefully off of her sandwich. "I mean, beyond all this stupidity?"

"Yes, dear," Molly said, standing again as a kettle that Buffy hadn't noticed was on the stove started whistling. Molly went to it and started collecting the things she would need to serve tea. "The notion of love is overrated."

The four young adults turned to stare at the woman as she started setting out the tea in front of them. Even Faith looked doubtful.

"Love is overrated?" Willow repeated.

Molly nodded. "Fairy tale love is something invented long ago by Muggles. It doesn't really exist like it does in Muggle stories."

"Love is commitment, Buffy," Giles rephrased shooting his sister an exasperated look. "A connection may be formed without the work, but to keep that connection alive and thriving takes commitment. It takes real work to have true love. Muggles have forgotten that."

"Sometimes…" Arthur started nervously, "well, most times it takes people standing outside the picture to see the whole thing. Arranged marriages are a great success in our culture. The matches are always good. The divorce rate is very low."

Buffy wasn't convinced. "But…it's like slavery, someone deciding for me."

"Oh, no, dear," Molly said, looking a bit scandalized. "Arranged marriages in true magical tradition are never done without the bride and groom's approval."

"Was your and Arthur's marriage arranged?" Faith asked as she scooped four tablespoons of sugar into her teacup.

Molly nodded as she sat a cup in front of Willow. "Why, yes, of course. Arthur and I courted in school but our marriage was arranged many years after the fact, after he and Rupert began working together. You see, Rupert had by that time joined the Council and Arthur was in the Muggle office at the Ministry of Magic as a junior minister and was assigned to liaise between the two. Rupert set it all up after Father died."

"So, it's more like a family's seal of approval?" Xander asked, confused.

Giles thought this over then shrugged. "In a way."

"What about Fred and George?" Faith asked after the boys that had just went to take out Their marriages aren't arranged are they?"

"Since they were fourteen," Arthur confirmed with a nod. "It became quite clear to us that Alicia and Angelina were perfect for our boys. They've always got on famously."

"If, uh…" Faith started nervously before looking up at Molly, who was stille behind her and Willow. "If it wasn't a forced decision…would you make the same choices?"

Molly seemed a bit confused. "Which choices?"

"Well…me," Faith finally said. "I know I'm not the ideal daughter-in-law, but--"

"Hush, now," Molly cut in firmly. Suddenly the woman was between Willow and Faith, a hand on each of their shoulders. "Faith, you are an amazing woman. One, I believe, Bill is well suited for. The time may come when you don't see this marriage as an obligation. And, well, who knows? Might be that if the law is challenged and brought down, not many of you would want a divorce."

Buffy liked the woman's attitude. But she couldn't really bring herself to agree.


	8. Redheads and Bigheads

The next morning, Willow Rosenberg found herself alone in the room that seemed to now unofficially be hers, Faith's, and Buffy's bedroom. Though how long that would last was anyone's guess. The future, even the immediate future, seemed to be quite unclear.

Willow was betrothed. As of last night, she had entered into a verbal agreement through her adoptive guardian, Rupert Giles, with the father and mother of one Percy Weasley. Though no papers had yet been filed and she wore no ring, the verbal agreement as witnessed by several upstanding members of the magical community was binding.

She had felt like crying.

She ignored her feelings, though, and instead busied herself in her old long-lost love…knowledge. Willow was familiar with magical theory, even that concerning the wand-users. The coven Giles had introduced her to a few short years ago after her "bad time" had had more than one wand-user in it. But she knew nothing except the basic facts of their existence. So she had promptly borrowed several of Hermione's many books and proceeded to completely lose herself in them.

Willow lay on her stomach on her bed in the upstairs of the rickety old townhouse and could only flip through the pages of the four open books before her in awe as she lost herself to the wonder that was wand magic. It was very different than the magical disciplines she had previously studied. While Wicca was about focusing one's own energy in relation with the energy around to bend the physical to one's will, wand magic was a simpler form. It was less open to corruption, since one did not open their magical senses to the energy of the world at large. Though in some ways it was preferable to her own form of magic, she thought that a nice blending of the two would produce the best kind of witch. She was actually looking forward to the prospect of learning from such hybrid magic users, like Albus Dumbledore seemed to be.

She was suddenly knocked out of her musings by a sharp double knock on the door.

Willow looked up at the door in surprise. No one in the house that she knew of would knock like that, not even Arthur or Molly. Instead, pretty much everyone at Grimmauld Place, from wizard and witch to Scooby, would come barreling in without so much as a word of warning.

"Come in," the redhead called as she marked her place in the book. She looked up expectantly only to find the door slowly open instead of rocketing back against the wall. And standing out in the hall just before the threshold was a strange man.

Willow pushed herself off of her stomach and swung her legs around so that she was sitting on her butt in an upright position. She furrowed her brow in confusion as she tried to place the unknown yet strangely familiar man. Then it came to her. This was her fiancé. This young man was the same boy that Giles had shown her the picture of, though he had grown quite a bit over the years. This was Percy Weasley.

The sudden knowledge immediately sent her blood pressure climbing, and she felt like she could feel every nerve in her body. She stood quickly, trying hard not to appear nervous or uncertain to her guest.

The man was most definitely a Weasley. He favored Arthur more than Molly, as he was tall and on the thinner side. He had a long nose upon which he wore horn-rimmed glasses and, like all Weasleys, had that striking red hair, though his was cut and worn in a much neater style than the others. As Faith had said, while he wasn't an Abercrombie and Fitch model, he was handsome and definitely "screwable".

"Willow Rosenberg?" the man asked in a clipped tone as his cold blue eyes swept over her suspiciously.

Willow was a bit taken aback at his wooden demeanor, she had been warned by Fred and George of their "pompous ass" of a brother. Apparently, he was very into rules and, according to them, had no real personality besides being a whipping boy for whoever was over him at the time. And there had been some sort of recent falling out having to do with the Voldemort guy and that minister guy named after candy and Dumbledore that had really hurt the entire family, especially Molly. Then Percy had been proven wrong and had to crawl back to the family. He had been instantly welcomed back by Molly, of course, but there was still some awkwardness between him and Arthur and the other Weasley children had apparently taken to making the young man suffer. Willow had decided early to form no opinion. Wasn't any of her business.

But now, as Willow looked at the stiff man in front of her, she fought the urge to sigh. The next few months were gonna be very long indeed. "I take it you're Bighead Boy."

Percy scowled distastefully. "I see you've met Fred and George."

Willow nodded and smiled brightly, ignoring the tone of Percy's voice. "They're fun."

"They're infuriating," Percy corrected without even blinking.

Willow knew at that moment she really needed to change the subject or this could all very well go down hill. She stepped forward and leaned slightly against the half-open door, gesturing with her arm at the room behind her. "So, you wanna come in?"

Percy, if it was even possible, straightened even more. "It would not be proper."

Willow shot the man a confused look. "Uh…what?"

"It would not be seemly for the two of us to be alone in your bedroom together," Percy explained shortly. "To do that, we would require a chaperone."

Willow fought the urge to let her mouth just drop open in shock as she felt pulled back in time a few hundred years at the man's response. "Okay…"

Then her right hand shot out and latched onto his robes, quickly tugging him inside and slamming the door.

The young man rounded on her as she lazily stepped back to lean against the footboard of her bed, completely taken by surprise. "What the--!"

"We'll be married before the end of the week, we'll be bedroomed by the end of the month, and we'll be expecting a kid before the end of the year," Willow cut off the tirade she figured was building behind that stony expression of his. She was too old for that kind of bullshit and definitely too fed up. "Learn to live on the edge."

Percy composed himself rather quickly and straightened his posture once more as he latched his emotionless gaze onto her. "Having a child is the best reason I can imagine to take a step back from the edge."

"Are you kidding?" Willow asked in disbelief. "Having a kid is like dangling a foot over the edge while jumping up and down. It's the biggest adventure there is. It's why Peter Pan grows up."

Percy blinked in confusion. "Peter who?"

Willow sighed, remembering that it was unlikely that the young man before her had ever seen the movie _Hook_. "Never mind."

"What are your expectations of our partnership?" Percy asked suddenly.

Willow blinked as she tried to think how it could be a trick question. "Um…being married."

Percy wasn't so easily sidetracked. "Yes, but what will you require from our marriage?"

Willow sighed as she recognized the signs of someone who had an agenda that he expected to be met. "Well, we have to live together."

"Ah, yes," Percy said, though by his tone Willow could tell that she hadn't so much reminded him of something as played right into his little imaginary script for the evening. "I currently have my own apartment in London. Will that be suitable?"

She shrugged. Apparently it was important for him to live at his current place. Since her place had really been Giles's place, it didn't really so much matter to her as long as she was relatively close to her friends. "I guess."

Percy nodded, once again as if he had fully expected her to agree to this without any complaint. "It is a two bedroom, though I fear I use the second bedroom for my office. I do a lot of work, you see, not only for the Order, but for the Ministry as well. If you require your own room, I would be more than willing to merge my room with my office."

Willow shrugged again. "No, we can share. We'll be married, after all. All I need is a little 'me' space."

"Of course," he said, though she could tell by his tone that he wasn't pleased to be rearranging his life to accommodate her. "I'll have the bedroom expanded slightly, then. I'll make sure you have your own bureau, desk, and anything else you might require."

Willow gave him a confused look. "You don't have to. I can afford to buy my own furniture."

"You are to be my wife," he replied as if that answered everything. "I will provide for you."

Willow rolled her eyes, but didn't argue, too tired from the day's events to explain to the boy that feminism had happened. Plus, if she got free furniture, cool beans. "Whatever you want, Bighead Boy."

He narrowed his eyes at her momentarily. "I'd appreciate if you refrain from calling me that."

Then he went right back to his little "script". "The common area is sparsely furnished, though I do have a sofa and a wide selection of books."

"No problem," Willow said as she thought over the possessions she had gathered since the destruction of all her previous possessions. "I'll bring my own books. We'll start a library. Oh, you mind if I bring my TV?"

"TV?" Percy repeated questioningly.

"Television?" Willow tried instead.

This term the man seemed more familiar with. "Ah, yes. The box that tells stories with pictures."

Willow blinked as she took in this statement. Then she gave him a small smile as she imagined introducing him to the wonders of the idiot box. "Are you in for a treat."

Percy didn't seem to be convinced. "The kitchen and dining area are merged together," he continued his explanation dryly. "I apologize for the lack of a formal dining room, but the apartment was to be a bachelor pad of sorts."

Willow shrugged, unconcerned. "I spent most of the past year sharing a house with a few dozen teenage girls. I can cope with just about anything."

Percy gave a stiff nod of understanding. "Ah, yes, I forgot about your encounter with the First Evil."

"Yeah," Willow said with a grimace. "Bad mojo."

This seemed to spark something in him as he became even more formal in tone and posture, something Willow would have bet her life on being an impossibility just moments before. "Speaking of…bad mojo," he started slowly, as if choosing his words with great care, "I find that if I am to feel secure in this arrangement I must ask about your foray into the Dark Arts."

Willow felt her insides go numb. Of course, she should have known that he would have been aware of her slight…bad period. But the way he spoke about it so candidly, as if it hadn't been the worst moments in her life…it unnerved her, this man and his attitude. But if he was going to be her husband, no matter however temporary the arrangement might be, he deserved the right to know. "What do you want to know?"

"Do you still practice the Dark Arts?" he asked frankly without so much as even blinking.

"No," Willow answered just as frankly. "I only use what could be termed as Dark Arts to counter-curse."

Percy seemed to consider this for a moment before nodding his approval. Then he was silent for a few moments as he, as Willow imagined, went over in his head everything they had spoken and agreed upon. Then he started once more. "All wizards and witches at the Ministry entering into these marriages will be given a week off as a sort of Honeymoon. I would prefer to consummate our marriage during that time."

Willow could almost taste the bile at the back of her throat at the thought of sleeping with the stiff young man before her who was so fixated upon himself that he didn't think twice about speaking casually of other people's hard times.

"Also, I'd ask you cast a fertility spell upon yourself as I will be doing with me. I'd like to conceive as quickly as possible so that we will not be forced into circumstances against our will more than is necessary."

His cold demeanor and harsh candor was almost more than Willow could take. She just stared at him as he waited for her answer with an emotionless expression.

He grew impatient and raised an eyebrow. "If that is amicable to you?"

"Uh…sure," Willow finally said in an empty tone of voice. "Sooner begun, the sooner done."

Percy nodded again then gave her his first smile of the evening, one that seemed to be as empty and devoid of emotion as his face had been throughout the rest of the conversation. "You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, Miss Rosenberg," he said as he gave her one last look over. She felt somehow violated, though she knew that had not been his intention. She just felt…less like a human being and more like a means to an end. "I think this endeavor will be to both of our advantage."

She nodded and went through the motions of bidding the young redheaded man farewell as she pondered the situation she was in. She sat on her bed and realized that she was about to enter into nothing more than a business transaction with a man that seemed to be somehow emotionally subhuman.

Willow Rosenberg felt like crying. And too tired to fight off the tears, she gave in.


	9. Pop Goes the Weasley

Faith was starving. Hungry and horny, to be honest. Right after Mrs. Weasley's wonderful dinner of lamb and vegetable pie, she and Buffy had decided to go on a light patrol to take out some pent up frustration on the demon world. Mr. Weasley had given them each a slip of paper that read 'The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, London', something that Faith was still confused about, then the Chosen Two had headed out for an early sweep. The neighborhood that Grimmauld Place was in was pretty much devoid of vampires and demon activity. They had only run into three vamps and a fat eating Rynard demon. It was quick and easy work, just enough to get her all riled up and itchin' for more.

It was fairly late when they got back and neither girl was surprised that the rest of the household was already in bed. In the front hall she and Buffy parted ways, Buffy heading for bed and Faith going straight for the kitchen, both scowling at the painting of Mrs. Black as the old hag cowered behind the frame at the sight of them.

The kitchen was still lit by the fire, something that Faith considered to be fairly dangerous before remembering that the witch Mrs. Weasley probably had it maintained by magic. Faith smiled as she saw that she wasn't the only person who wanted a late night snack.

"Heya, Billy Boy," she said lowly as she sauntered up behind where her husband-to-be stood in front of the main counter.

Bill turned, eyes wide in surprise, and Faith almost laughed when she saw the half-eaten cookie he had in his hand. He swallowed and smiled at her nervously. "Billy Boy?"

Faith smirked as she grabbed the cookie from his hand. "Never mind."

She turned to the cabinets. She raised the sweet to her lips and took a small bite, smiling as she turned to examine the cabinets. She raised up on her tip toes and reached up, knowing that Bill was getting an eyeful as her nightshirt slid up her thighs and her backside protruded out. Indeed, she heard his breath hitch a bit and she had to fight to contain her smile as she opened the cabinet and backed away to peruse the choices.

"So, you're going to be my husband," she stated as she flipped the cabinet closed once she saw nothing but dishes.

"I suppose so."

Faith moved over to repeat the action she had just performed with the next set of cabinets. This time she was luckier, for her eyes immediately landed on a small tin of chocolate covered nuts. She grabbed the tin and turned so that she was leaning against the counter facing her intended. She raised an eyebrow at him as she shook the can of nuts in her hand suggestively. "Think you can handle me?"

Bill was able to keep his composure, though she could tell it was a fight. "Doubt it a little more every time I see you."

She outright smiled at that. She by no means was pleased at the situation she had found herself in, but the bright side just kept getting brighter. Even though she had no intentions of reproducing whatsoever or staying married a moment longer than she had to, she was going to enjoy herself immensely fulfilling some of the more immediate law provisions with the man in front of her. "You're cool."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Bill said as he relaxed more and more.

"It is," Faith said as she hopped up to sit on the counter behind her. The button-up shirt she was in rode up quite a bit and opened slightly at the ends, revealing a large amount of thigh. She didn't care. Instead, she took a moment to really look her husband-to-be over.

He was a Weasley, that was for sure. Red hair seemed to be the earmark of the family. But his was very long, sexy, pulled back in a ponytail at the nape of his neck. And his ear was pierced. She loved guys with piercings. His eyes were his father's, clear blue and sparkling. His build had probably stemmed from his father's genetics too, for he was as tall as Mr. Weasley. But he wasn't just lean…he was built. Wonderfully sculpted arms were all that was visible to her at the moment, but she knew that his butt was rock hard and had to lead to wonderful legs underneath his jeans. And she almost drooled as she eyed his chest, imagining what lay beneath the plain white t-shirt.

"So, you work at a bank," Faith said in an attempt to make conversation. "You really don't look like a guy who would work at a bank."

"Thanks," he said confidently and took that moment to rake his eyes over her form liberally. "You don't look like what I thought a Slayer should look like."

Faith grinned slyly and moved her legs so that her right foot was resting against Bill's left knee. "Do tell, what should a Slayer look like?"

"More muscles," Bill said as he made an effort to not look down where her foot rested against him. "Definitely not…"

At this, Faith let her foot drag up, trailing over his thigh languidly. "Not what?"

The man in front of her took a deep breath, but did not move from where he stood in front of her. "Not like you."

She smiled and flexed her toes against his lower hip. "One week."

"Indeed," he whispered huskily as his eyes met hers. "At least we know it won't be too hard to meet the requirements of the marriage."

Faith grinned deviously at his innocent choice of words and let her foot move to rub lightly over his crotch. "Just hard enough."

Bill's eyes went wide and he made some sort of swallowed choking sound as he quickly backed away out of the reach of Faith's wandering foot. Once he had himself back under control, he looked up at her and gave her a small smile. "Not very subtle, are you?"

Faith shrugged as she crossed her right leg over the left. "Subtlety is just a waste of time. If I have something worth saying, then I'll say it."

"Interesting philosophy," he commented.

She smiled as she popped a nut into her mouth. "Works for me."

"What about after you have a child?" he asked carefully.

She hesitated as she chewed and swallowed, then shrugged again. "I'll do what I have to."

Bill seemed to accept this for the time being. He moved on. "Right now, I live here in Grimmauld Place. Technically, it's Harry's, but the kid's good enough to let me rent out a space."

"He makes you pay rent?" Faith asked doubtfully. She had watched the Potter boy for most of the day, seeing that he was going to be marrying little Dawn, and, while stubborn, he didn't seem to have a greedy or cruel bone in his body.

Bill chuckled and shook his head. "Nah. I have to force him to take it. A knut a month. My old place was nearly fifty galleons a month."

"Knut?" Faith repeated, genuinely confused. "Galleon?"

Bill gave her a kind look, the kind one would give to a curious child. "You really don't know very much about being a witch."

Faith raised an eyebrow and gave the redhead a pointed look. "I expect you'll have a lot to teach me."

"If you want lessons, you might try your hand up at Hogwarts. I'm sure we could get Dumbledore to let you Floo up there every once in awhile."

Faith definitely wasn't at all interested, but shrugged anyway. "Might be worthwhile."

"They have a monster infested forest on campus," Bill told her at this.

Faith sat up, now very interested. "Very worthwhile."

He paused for a moment before stepping close to her once again, this time his expression serious. "Faith, this is a situation we've been dealt. I'm not going to ask you to change…much. I, myself, won't change…much. We're going to have to learn to be friends. If we don't, this won't work."

She considered his words for a moment before nodding. "I can live with that. Change. My life is all about change."

He sighed, then met her gaze with his own grave eyes. "Well, here's a big one…you're going to have to live up to your name."

Faith was completely confused. "Huh?"

"Faith," he started slowly. "I've heard stories about you. From the way you act and talk, I suspect most of them are true, though I won't judge. Take this as you will. All I require from you is that you're faithful to your vows. Faithful to me. I'm giving up a lot to do this."

Then she understood. He wanted her to at least be faithful to him while they were married. She could do that. As long as she was getting some from someone, she was good. Plus, he seemed to be a good guy. She knew he had dumped a long-time on-again-off-again girlfriend to help her out. She respected that. "I know you are. I understand your request. I'll respect it. I know it sounds strange, but I think there's something sacred going on with marriage vows."

He looked at her hopefully. "Really?"

She snorted. "Yeah, I know, shocks me, too. I actually have morals."

He gave her a genuine smile at this. "That's not something I doubt. Whatever your past suggests, you have a good heart. Thank you."

Faith was not comfortable with where the conversation was headed. She hopped down off the counter and stood in front of him. "So, how's this gonna work?"

"Like I said, I rent a room here," Bill Unless you want otherwise, I figured we'd stay here."

"In your room?" Faith asked.

He nodded. "That is what cohabitation implies. I don't rent the house, just the room. If you got your own room, I know it would trigger Ministry wards just the same as getting your own apartment. We could get our own house or apartment if you'd rather. You could have your own room, then."

Faith outright laughed at this. After a moment, she calmed down and gave him an amused look. "Trust me, sharing a room here will be the best place I've had. Ever."

He seemed pleased that she was pleased. "I don't care what you do. Get a job, Muggle or magical. Slay. Learn magic. Chew bubblegum. Do what you want."

She nodded, happy to know that he wasn't going to try and dominate her life with some wacky demands. "Thanks. So, what will we do about the kid?"

He sobered at this. "We only have a year and it could take time to get pregnant."

She smirked and stepped closer to him. "Then we'd just better get on that as soon as we're married."

"Indeed," he said as he looked down at her. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask another favor of you."

She paused a this and looked up at him. "What?"

"Will you consider cutting back on your Slayer duties while you're pregnant?" he asked, a note of hesitant pleading in his voice. "It'll be my kid too."

Faith knew that it was unlikely that Giles wouldn't have everything sorted out by the time that deadline came about. She knew that Bill wanted to get it done as quick as possible to ensure their marriage couldn't be questioned, but he didn't know Slayer biology. Indeed, it was difficult for Slayers to become pregnant. Their bodies were so geared for other things, that part of their anatomy slowed. The only Slayer in recorded history to ever have a kid was Nikki Wood and she had been married six years beforehand. Faith herself had only had two periods in the past year. "We'll take it day by day."

"Try," Bill said, relief shining through that she hadn't been completely offended. "That's all I'll ask."

"We'll see," she repeated.

He nodded, satisfied, and thought for a moment before sighing. "Anything else important need touched on?"

She smirked again and stepped even closer to him so that they were barely an inch apart. She could feel his heat, and she knew he felt hers because his eyes darkened as he looked down at her. She smiled and raised up on her toes to whisper in his ear, "Not that I can think of."

He watched as she stepped around him, never letting their bodies touch.

"Are you really going to make me wait out the entire week to be with you?" he asked her as she started for the door.

She looked back at him and grinned slyly. "Haven't you heard? I'm the evil Slayer."

Then she practically skipped out the door.


	10. Snapple Cakes

Buffy Summers hated her life at the moment. Well, she frequently hated her life. From the moment Merrick had shown up outside of Hemery High in Los Angeles and informed her that she was the Chosen One, her life had been an emotional roller coaster. Which in a weird way was usually okay. Some people had normal lives that they were used to. She had hers and she really didn't know any other way to live anymore. Besides, she had always loved roller coasters.

But this was a turn she had not expected. Secret societies she barely knew anything about, marriage, magic, war, guys that eat death, Hitler-wannabe, Giles actually having a blood family. It was a little much, even for them. She supposed it wasn't really all that bad and in no way was the worst thing they had ever faced. If she were actually honest, she could see some of the benefits. It was an easy way to get the New Council to form and alliance with the Order of the Phoenix without giving away too much to Fudge. And she really didn't doubt at all that Giles would have everything dealt with before long. That didn't mean she had to be a good sport about it.

She would have been much better about it all if she got as lucky as Faith or Xander. Faith was pretty lusty over Giles's nephew and, considering the looks the redhead sent the dark-haired Slayer when he thought no one was looking, Buffy would not be surprised if an actual genuine relationship formed there. And the weird but spunky girl Xander had gotten was just that. Weird and spunky, but nice. They were going to at least be amicable acquaintances if not friends. Even Dawn had gotten a decent draw. Harry was a sweetie and, if he hadn't been chosen to marry her sister at age seventeen, Buffy probably would have liked him a lot. She still liked him, even though he and Dawn had declared a mini-war. But at least he was still a good boy at heart.

Willow, however, wasn't so lucky. Apparently, the twin redheads hadn't been joking about their brother. Willow had been very upset after she had met with her husband to be the previous day. Buffy knew that the tears had been mostly caused by fatigue and emotional drain and not the bastard Willow was set to wed, but she had still wanted to cause damage. Xander had been set to kill. But Willow had stopped them as she went from depressed and hurt to just angry. And Willow was scary when angry, even without the black eyes.

But Buffy…well, Buffy was quite positive that she had it even worse than Willow. Severus Snape looked like the bad guy off the _Smurfs_. His attitude was even worse. Honestly, Buffy thought that the Voldemort guy would make a better husband.

She stood there in the drawing room, considering all this and more. Then, as if by some twisted sense of fate, the object of her aversion suddenly stepped out of the fireplace and into the room, making as if to walk through it quickly and onward to some other destination. But Buffy wanted this over with. And she wouldn't let him continue to avoid her forever.

In just a few quick steps, she was standing right in front of one Severus Snape, glare matching his own glare. "Giles said I had to talk to you."

He held her gaze and for a moment she thought he might try and do anything to get away from her. But then his mouth crooked into a sneer and he gave a short and very stiff nod. "If you must."

Buffy frowned when she realized he was just going to stand there in front of her, all stiff and tense. "Would it kill you to relax and just talk for a second?"

"Yes," came the reply with no hint of humor or mockery. She almost believed he would keel over right there in front of her if he relaxed.

But she didn't believe him and his attitude was really starting to grate on her already frazzled nerves. She narrowed her eyes at him and brought her hands up to rest on her hips. "Listen here, you booger-headed butt-monkey--"

"Such mature and well-thought insults," he cut her off smoothly before turning to swoop around her. "Extremely witty."

Buffy moved to intercept him before he could make a getaway. "You think you're a big bad, huh?" she started in a grave voice, noting the fury on his face with nothing more than a shrug. "Well, whatever reaction you're used to getting, don't even think for a moment that you scare me. You're not even a little bit impressive."

This statement seemed to have somewhat of the effect she had hoped for because the man seemed to freeze and regard her more seriously. Then he gave in and turned away from her, taking the first seat he came to, which happened to be one of the chairs facing the settee. His eyes never left her as he sat. "Neither are you."

Buffy rolled her own eyes and flopped down on the settee, glaring back at him with just as much power. "I want my own room."

He inclined his head once. "Agreed."

"And we're only gonna do the nasty the one time," Buffy continued, "so enjoy it while you can."

His glare turned even icier. "You might find it hard to believe, Miss Summers, but being forced to copulate with you will not be the highlight of my life."

She ignored this and went on, "In two months, you'll give me a sample of your stuff and I'll go take care of the baby problem the lesbian way."

He blinked then, clearly confused, which was an interesting expression on his sour face. "Excuse me?"

"Muggle science," she said slowly as if talking to an idiot child. "They can take your stuff and make me pregnant without you ever laying a hand on me. Besides, with my Slayer anatomy, it's pretty much the only way I could get pregnant."

He considered this for a moment then nodded once again. "Fine. Perfect, actually."

"I want to live in London near my friends," Buffy said firmly after matching his stiff nod.

"Fortunately, that will not be possible," he replied with a small hint of satisfaction in his voice. "I am a professor at the British school of witchcraft and wizardry. Most of my time is spent there."

Buffy narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms in front of her as she raised the power of her glare. "Listen, I'm giving up a buttload of shit to help you out. Living here in Grim Reaper with all my friends, well, this has been more like a sucky vacation in which the airline lost my luggage. But there's no way I'm leaving everyone and everything I know to go live in some school for teenaged magicians. Sounds like a bad soap opera waiting to happen. No to mention Dr. Frankenfurter gives me the heebie-jeebies. That's right. I saw _The Worst Witch_. I'm frightened of Tim Curry."

He raised an eyebrow as she finished her tirade. "Am I actually supposed to understand your nonsensical ramblings?"

"Nonsensical?" Buffy repeated icily. "I thought you were a teacher. Kinda pathetic teacher if you can't understand words. No wonder they all hate you."

Anger flashed in Severus Snape's black eyes. "Since it is actually I who will be saving you from a fate beyond the likes of which you can possibly imagine, I refuse to have my life altered any more than is necessary."

"Bullshit," Buffy snapped back at him. "You're saving yourselves. You think Giles has me fooled? Has any of us fooled? Well, maybe Dawn and Xander, but Dawn's pretty quick on the uptake and Xander…well, whatever. But I know that having us go through with this is less about our safety, which we can totally take care of ourselves, and more about putting on a nice face for the public. Cause we're all famous and everything. Your man Dumbledore doesn't want to rock the boat for some reason and somehow has Giles in his pocket."

Snape watched her carefully. "Miss Summers--"

"I don't play politics," she interrupted pointedly. "But if Giles is worried enough to have us go along with this, I can pretend the reasons you gave us are the truth. But don't think for a second I'm as stupid as you are, Gargamel."

Instead of the fury she had come to expect from Severus Snape, he suddenly seemed tired. "Would you cease with your Muggle insults?"

Even though she felt a little bad at his sudden fatigue, she felt worse for herself. "No."

He gave her a look. "Miss Summers, you have no line of employment. I do. For me to lose my position would be catastrophically detrimental, for both myself and the war effort. You having to sleep at the school and Floo back here would be inconvenient to you at the very most."

"I am the Slayer," she started stubbornly, "I have duties--"

"Which can be fulfilled at Hogwarts," he broke into her tirade smoothly. "The Headmaster actually suggested that you may well wish to take up your line of work at Hogwarts."

Buffy frowned. "Why do you need a Slayer at your magic school?"

Snape looked at her as if she was the biggest idiot on the face of the planet. "There is a great threat to Hogwarts from the Dark Lord and his followers. Do you honestly need me to explain it to you? Not even Gryffindors are that inept."

Buffy rolled her eyes and shifted in her seat. "What about my friends?"

Snape raised one of his long eyebrows. "The lovely soon to be Mrs. Potter will certainly be at Hogwarts as I assume you will want her to continue her studies."

This was something that Buffy was conflicted on. Dawn had been all ready to go to a nice school, all arranged by Giles, but now it seemed that everyone expected Dawn to attend this magical school. While Buffy had known for a very long time thanks to first Tara and later Willow that Dawn had the makings to be a powerful witch, she had never really been comfortable with the idea of letting her sister go down that path. It had destroyed Amy Madison and Jonathan Levinson and nearly destroyed Willow. Even Giles had had a very bad experience with magic. And of course there were the countless times she herself had personally encountered magic.

Buffy sighed and looked down at the floor. "We were sending her to Ampleforth College in Yorkshire. It was supposed to be nice."

"A lovely Muggle school, no doubt, but your sister is a witch," Snape's harsh voice countered easily, as if the decision weren't a hard one at all. "She should be trained accordingly. I thought this was already decided."

Buffy's heated gaze snapped back up to him. "It's under discussion, but since Harry has a school and Dawn has to get a new school anyways…"

He held her gaze for a moment before blinking. "At least you demonstrate a capacity to be logical, however underused it may be."

She cocked her head and gave him a wide smile. "Thanks for the compliment, Sevvie."

He ignored this. "Miss Rosenberg has shown an interest in coming to Hogwarts and I do believe Mr. Harris will follow whatever you women decide to do. I expect my schedule to be disrupted and torn asunder to accommodate them. I will arrange it with the Headmaster so that you will be able to learn magic as well."

"I hate school," Buffy muttered tiredly as she gave in. "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in."

"I'll assume that was once again one of your Muggle absurdities," Snape murmured.

Buffy wrinkled her nose at his comment. "You know, I dislike that word. 'Muggle'. It's kinda insulting." She paused for a second before nodding. "I'll give you this, but I expect something from you in return later on."

He hesitated before sighing. "We shall see about that."

"Oh, we will, I promise," Buffy replied in a saccharin sweet tone.

Snape just chose to ignore this is well. "Also, Professor Dumbledore has asked if you would be willing to assist in some of the classes."

"Classes?" Buffy repeated as she sat up, alarmed slightly. "I don't know magic."

"But you are an authority on what you do," he countered. "I daresay Dumbledore will ask that you give a seminar on being the Slayer or demons or some such nonsense."

She sighed and shrugged. "Oh, well, yeah, I guess I could do that."

"Very well." he said in a clipped tone as he rose to his feet. "I will make a note of it to inform him of your acceptance."

She got up as well and looked at him for a moment as she tried to think of something else they might need to discuss. When she decided there wasn't she gave him a nod. "I don't like you."

"I loath you," he replied in a sincere voice.

"Later, then," she replied and walked out of the room in search of her friends. She didn't have to go far. They were in the kitchen. Dumbledore, Giles, Harry, Hermione, and the redheads (too many of them for her to be expected to keep them straight) were all there too. And everyone was practically beaming.

Buffy blinked almost scared to ask. Almost. "What?"

Dumbledore met her eyes with his twinkling blue ones. "I'm delighted to report that I have some very good news."

Buffy felt the relief pour over her. It tingled, almost orgasmic. Suddenly she found herself squeezing Albus Dumbledore in a very tight hug. "Oh. Oh! You are a good man. You are a kind man. You are my hero."

Dumbledore gave her an odd smile as he very carefully extricated himself from her grasp. "Well, I am very happy to be those things, Miss Summers."

Buffy just continue to bask in the happiness. "So I guess we can cancel that picket line. And the bomb squad. So how did you do it?"

Now Dumbledore was confused. "Do?"

"Get the fascist law thrown out," Buffy clarified before looking over at Willow. "Is it fascism?"

Dumbledore's hand on her shoulder interrupted any reply Willow would have made. Buffy turned back to him to see the twinkle was slightly deadened. "I'm sorry, but I think there's been some kind of misunderstanding. The Civil Union Decree is still very much in affect."

The floor dropped out from under Buffy. She stood there, looking at Dumbledore, completely dumbstruck. "Then what kind of news can make you so happy? Voldemort choked on a jawbreaker?"

Giles decided to rescue Dumbledore at that point and stepped forward. "Albus was able to take a first step in dissolving this law. It has been weakened by the Wizengamot."

Buffy decided not to ask what the hell a wizen-whatsis was and instead focused on the important bit of information. "Weakened? How?"

"Well, they've changed much of the law's timetable, for one thing," Arthur Weasley explained. "From next week on, all couples will have two months to marry from the time of petition with no timetable on consummation, though it is implied that it would be required about three months into the marriage for couples are still only given one year to have a child, though there are now loopholes for those who need more time. The marriages can now also be dissolved completely within five years of the first child's birth."

Buffy sighed, feeling a little better about the situation but not much. "That's a little better, but I wouldn't necessarily call it reasonable. The whole thing is still a slave trade."

"Ah, yes, about that as well," Arthur continued, looking pleased. "Everyone petitioned now has the right to turn away three proposals before falling under the one month time restriction."

"A veto?" Buffy asked, turning to Giles. "Why don't we just do that?"

"You have many more petitions than the three," Giles pointed out gently.

Of course, Buffy knew that. "Oh."

"Some of the bias has been lessened as well," Molly Weasley jumped into the conversation. "Muggle-borns have been given the right to petition. Purebloods still cannot be petitioned for, though."

"At least it's a step," Hermione pointed out gently.

"So, what are these loopholes?" Faith asked, revealing the track the conversation had been on before Buffy had come down.

"Well, if a couple finds it difficult to conceive," Dumbledore began as if repeating himself, "all they need provide is a note from a Healer that explains the situation. I expect Madame Pomfrey could be easily persuaded to see difficulties in all of you, whether they exist or no. Also, all those couples in which the female is attending a school or training of some sort are not required to produce a child until a year after their education is completed. In affect, all will be marriages in name only."

Dawn nodded slowly as she took in all this information. "I don't have to be _really_ married to Harry anymore?"

Buffy took a seat at the table next to her sister and muttered, "Thank god."

Giles nodded and smiled. "Now, with these relaxations it is my hope to have the decree fully overturned by the time any of those, er, dates come about."

Willow shot the Watcher a curious glance. "Did you get a hold of Wesley?"

Giles shook his head. "I called, but apparently they were tracking a werewolf girl at the time. Something about members of the aristocracy wanting to eat her alive. I left the message to call me back as soon as possible with Harmony."

The got everyone's attention.

"Harmony?" they all repeated in unison.

The look on Giles's face told them he agreed with their opinion of that. "She's Angel's secretary."

Xander snorted. "Right."

"Once we get the weight of Wolfram and Hart behind the plans we've outlined," Giles continued, "it shouldn't take too long for us all to get back to our own separate lives."

"That said," Dumbledore added quickly, "I hope all of you realize you will still need to marry this week."

"_WHAT_!"

"These changes do not go into affect until next week," Arthur Weasley explained slowly. "Your deadlines are before that time under the old provisions. You won't have to have a child or consummate the relationships as soon as you would have had to, but you still must marry."

Buffy groaned. "Oh, hell."


End file.
